words in movies
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
GRANDMOTHER: Is it really your fa--I can't... well of course it is.
GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
MONICA: You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do?
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now?
PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping.
CHANDLER: OK, Phoebs, your turn.
JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Chandler: Her ass print is still on your grandmothers quilt, do you really want to talk about smoking?
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Chandler: And no kissing your neck.
Charlie: Your first marriage?
Phoebe: Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts and youll be great.
ROSS: OK, my hands were no where near your butt.
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's.
Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)
Ross: Because it's soft... Hey, so how was your date?
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
Monica: That's sweet. Drink your hair.
Joey: Yeah. Okay. (Goes to take a bite out of the previously mentioned bagel.) Whoa! (Stops.) I almost forgot this was on your
Joey: Oh! I know how you can get him, take off your bra.
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Monica: And Mindy, your maid of...?
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Phoebe: Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we?
PHOEBE: Yes that's right. But still, I-, look at your purse, look at your sweater, look at yourselves.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Whitney: (outside the door) Uh, your door isnt sound proof.
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Chandler: How was your date with Joey?
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
JOEY: Hey.� How come you're answering your own phone?� Where's your crazy assistant?
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Chandler: Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Chandler: And youre upset because you didnt make your best friend cry?
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
PHOEBE: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
Chandler: Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. (He starts for his bedroom.)
Chandler: So excited about your letter!
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
MINDY: Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane.
Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes!
Rachel: I swear, I never wanted any part of your night!
PHOE: Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. [hugs Chandler but holds her hands apart behind his back] Oh, can't make.... hands... meet....
Kara: So how do you kids like your coffee?
Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus?
Monica: How dirty do you think I am? Im telling you, if you had some candles and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away.
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend?
David: Mike is your ex... uh... boyfriend!
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
Donny: Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator.
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Rachel: (standing up) Okay. Yknow what? Id have to say I really dont care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem toWhoa! (She starts a contraction) Oh gosh! Whoa!
Chandler: Whats the second part of your plan?
Airline Employee: Uh sir, may I see your tickets please?
Mark: Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't exactly say big promotion.
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?!
Rachel: All right. What's your news, Amy?
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Mona: (entering, with her date) I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
Mike: You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during...
Ross: She's putting words in your mouth!
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Julie: (To Rachel) Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)
Rachel: Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Phoebe: And I have your name and the fact that youre a drifter, so the balls pretty much in your court.
Chandler: What? No, I want to watch this. (He turns on the television and the screen is completely covered in snow). Did your cable go out?
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Chandler: Can you ever feel your ears?
Monica: Chandler, where are your tools?
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey's Co-Star: Apparently your brain transplant was not entirely successful. It seems your body is rejecting Jessicas brain.
Joey: So... who's your friend?
Ross: Come on, Im your older brother, ask me!