words in movies
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Phoebe: I think David would probably wanna hear a few lectures.
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility!
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Woman: Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan!
Woman: I would love your autograph. (hands him a notepad)
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives".
Sarah: I'm sorry, I don't own a TV.
Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at??
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
David: Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion.
Monica: Alright, I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip.
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Phoebe: That's right! Oh, yeah... Well, I've totally forgotten about im! AH! That's-That's... a blast from the past!
David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right?
David: (after a while) How do you think I should propose?
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?
Charlie: (laughing) I didn't mean a thong... I meant thongs...
Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong?
Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!
Ross: (a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them).
Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)
Chandler: (smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do".
Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Monica: Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?!
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed!
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
David: So, ehm... I'm proposing to Pheobe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Ross: By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century.
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive.
Chandler: Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!!
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament!
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Joey: Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention?
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Charlie: No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay!
Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Rachel: (takes a sip from her drink, embarassed) No.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Charlie: I had a great time.
[Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table]
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Mike: I have a question I need to ask you.
David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself.
David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table)
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
David: I have a ring.
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing something's wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! (pulls his hand away)
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star!
(They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks)
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
(Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look)
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Charlie: I'm sorry, I can't! I'm running a discussion group all afternoon.
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
Joey: Yeah! A little bit, yeah...
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
Mike: Ten bucks a game?
Mike: I'll make it a hundred!
Mike: To see who goes first, you got a quarter?
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later!
Rachel: (nearly whispering) Ok, let's not make a big thing about this!
Joey: (shocked) That's a huge thing!
Rachel: Only like a month!
Joey: (outraged) A MONTH??
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
Joey: Yeah, he had a paper route.
Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit?
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Rachel: It's not a big deal!
Rachel: It's so not a big deal!
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty!
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Mike: Ok, so it's a tie again, 41 to 41.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: (in pain) Aww! (she holds her hand, moaning like she's biting back a scream)
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart.
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Joey: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.
Phoebe: Oh my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?!
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
Monica: Honey, theres a reason.
Rachel: (in triumph) I got a touchdown! We did it!!
Phoebe: Here. (gives him a fire extinguisher) Y'know, just in case.
Rachel: We should defiantly play football more often. Maybe theres a like league we could join or something.
Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
Monica: Let go! Im a tiny little woman!!
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Monica: Maybe a Hello Kitty doll, the ability to walk...
Monica: You broke a little girls leg?!!
Joey: What? Me having a job?
Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, Ive worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.)
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, Im, Im sorry. (walks away)
Monica: Used to work with her. Used to! Im a relative and I didnt get invited! A blood relative! Blood!!
[Scene: Sarahs bedroom, her room is decorated with a space motif.]
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Sarah: Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.
Ross: Oh shoot, tomorrows not so good, Im supposed to um, fall off the Empire State building and land on a bicycle with no seat. Sorry.
Margha: I now find you shallow and um, a dork. All right, bye.
Sarah: Five dollars a box.
Sarah: A ten speed bike. But, Id rather have something my Dad couldnt sell.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
MONICA: So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. [walks off]
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
Woman: I can dial 9-1-1 at the touch of a button, y'know. Now, go away!
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
[We see Chandler lighting up a cigarette.]
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Joey: All right, Ill take a box of the cream filled Jesuss.
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Phoebe: Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, (looks at the tree) oh, but oh...
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
Gunther: And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we dont just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
Ross: Well you sure used a large font.
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
Joey: Not a problem.
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
[Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.]
Guy: I-I think Im gonna look around a little bit more.
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Rachel: I dont know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just dont want to be 30 and still work here.
Girl: Youre a big scrud.
Ross: Kinda like a big face without skin.
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
(The camera zooms in on Sarah and she has a big smile on her face.)
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
[Theres a knock on the door.]
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Ross: (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.
Rachel: Huh. Well, y'know thats actually a really good idea, because that way theyll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Rachel: (trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross.
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
[Chandler makes a noise of absolute disgust and heads into the living room.]
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Chandler: Yep, Im in a tree.
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?