words in movies
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Chandler: Im sorry, were just kinda excited because we finally have a couple to hang out with.
Joey: A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to Phoebe), two people?
Monica: This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
Chandler: Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance
Chandler: We really didnt get a chance to
Monica: It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean youre having a baby!
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: (laughs) Umm thats thats a little misleading.
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Joey: Yeah! You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. Such a rookie mistake.
Chandler: Yknow who has a great video camera?
Joey: All right! Ill have a sandwich!
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
Chandler: I dont know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions.
Monica: And youve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Joey: How long since youve seen a girl naked?
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Joey: (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)
(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)
Ross: What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!
Monica: I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.
Rachel: Ah, a little preview!
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Chandler: (entering) Hi. Anybody know a good tailor?
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Monica: Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses.
Rachel: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Rachel: Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Rachel: Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.
Ross: No, not a problem.
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought “who better then a minister to raise a child!”
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Monica: Demi Moore is not a he.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Ross: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.
Ross: And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle?
Monica: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Monica: It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?
[Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling men's cologne.]
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
Monica: Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
Monica: You had a salad.
Phoebe: I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad.
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Ross: Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Chandler: All right. Now go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Hombre Man: I'm sorry. I am such a doofus. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
(They walk off into the sunset, at least a picture of one.)
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
Julie: Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?
Rachel: Bye. (After Julie exits.) What a manipulative bitch.
Ross: (with a mouthful) That's not bad.
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
JOEY: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
PHOEBE: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
RACHEL: Ok, while you "mmm" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
Rachel: (Resenting the truth) I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we...
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
MONICA: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.
Ross: Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy.
CHANDLER: In a bad way?
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
MONICA: You are not a freak. You're a guy.
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
ROSS: Not hating Yanni is not a real reason.
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
RACHEL: Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken?
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
ROSS: There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret.
Chandler: Sure, everybody loves a kidder.
ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?