words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, everyone is getting ready to go to a banquet]
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Joey: We have a half hour.
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Ross: Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now.
Ross: 'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man.
Joey: What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech?
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
Monica: Hang on a second I just got in.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Monica: Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message. It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy?
Phoebe: Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place.
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Joey: Wow, what a cool job. (in a machine voice) 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.'
Ross: Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab.
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Phoebe: Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! (she's wearing another dress on a hanger around her neck)
Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) Okay, I'm ready.
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Chandler: They got a phone in there, right?
(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)
Ross: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.
Rachel: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.
(Joey enters wearing a lot of clothes)
Chandler: Jeez, what a baby.
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Rachel: No, no, no, now wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds interesting.
Ross: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Machine: Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone.
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Ross: So we're a little late.
Ross: Wow! What a pleasure.
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what youre saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? (Takes out his picture.) Look how pretty!
Terry: Its a different building.
[Scene: Rachels office, shes there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.]
Joey: Oh yeah (He mimes sticking his fingers into a jar of peanut butter, scooping some out, and eating it off his fingers.)
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Chandler: Young! Youre a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybodys ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar
Chandler: No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Joey: Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
Ross: Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
Joey: Uh, well they might be a little mad at me over there.
Tag: Phoebe! Thats a great name.
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Phoebe: So you hired yourself a little treat did ya?
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
CHAN: [through gritted teeth] Alright. [clears his throat] "It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end."
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.
Tag: Do you have a minute?
[Scene: Rachels office, shes looking at a picture of Tag when he knocks and enters.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are going through a bunch of pictures as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Monica: (looking at one) Oh, heres a great one.
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Monica: Thats a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Yknow (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Chandler: Right here! (Clucks like a chicken for some reason.)
Ross: Its not a club.
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Joey: Listen, sorry I didnt stop by last night but I had a date.
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Rachel: Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya?
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Melissa: Well, weve been flirting back and forth, but I was hoping that tonight it would turn into something a little more than that.
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
(Melissa beats a hasty retreat.)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
Phoebe: Im having a really good time!
Phoebe: Ohh. No thats okay, hes a friend.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Phoebe: And! She uses sex as a weapon!
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Rachel: Oh wow! (She takes a bite, but holds the sandwich vertically so that the stuff falls out.)
Tag: A little.
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
(A beautiful women walks up.)
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Ross: Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.
Joey: Ten. Okay. Now Tag theres such a thing as to many women.
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Tag: When Im in a relationship, I love having a girlfriend.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I dont think Im gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Whitney: Well, I went over to Kyles last night to pick up a few things and we got to reminiscing
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Phoebe: Yeah, and yknow what? I dont give a tiny rats ass.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Joey: Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2!
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
The Guys: Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)