words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Ross: I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
Rachel: Well and clearly not a minute sooner.
Phoebe: My God, I cant get a minute of peace around this place.
Monica: (entering) Rachel, I need to borrowYoure not packed!!!! Youre not packed even a little bit!
Rachel: No, no dont get mad because lookthis is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da!
Monica: (grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) Ill be coordinator! Oh my God! Im so sorry, I didnt get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, cant you Phoebe?
Chandler: Hes at a dinner party.
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Chandler: Say, Joe, I had a strange idea of what we could do for our last night. What do you say we play a little uh, foosball for money?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes in her closet bringing down her pair of roller blades from a top shelf.]
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Rachel: So-so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom?
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Chandler: Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel and Phoebe move a box into the living room.]
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Rachel: You know what else Im not gonna miss? "Im Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
Rachel: "Oh my God, I cant find a boyfriend! So I guess Ill just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!"
(Monica picks up one of those boxes of hair curling things, dumps it in a box, and storms out.)
Phoebe: Yeah, we should get a move on if we wanna make those dinner reservations. (Phoebe dumps a drawer full of makeup into a box.)
Chandler: Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Holds up a deck of cards.)
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Joey: A two and a five.
Joey: A four and a nine.
Chandler: Well thats a full cup! (Pays him again.)
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
Monica: How about, youre moving!! (Grabs a bunch of clothes and throws them into a box. What follows is a brief sequence of Rachel unpacking and Monica packing the same stuff over and over again as Rachel chants "No." and Monica chants "Yes.")
Rachel: Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! (She knocks over Monica, grabs a box, and runs into the kitchen.)
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica carries a box out of Rachels room.]
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Yknow I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but yknow Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate.
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
Ross: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, hows the packing going? (Listens) Ben? Hes fine. Yeah, hes rightOh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head of your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, its a pumpkin. Ill come pack.
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Rachel: Oh God! This is silly, Im gonna see you in a couple of hours! (They hug again.)
Monica: Can I ask you a question?
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Chandler: Its not a real game! I made it up!
Chandler: At a fake game!!
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
Rachel: Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!
Receptionist: We already got the results back on that on, and theyre not good. (Joey beats a hasty retreat.)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Joey: Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Chandler: Okay. Okay, now wait a minute that was totally different.
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Elizabeth: Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to tell you that Im going to Florida for a couple weeks.
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. Im really sorry I was a baby.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Chandler: Skidmarks still got a way with the ladies.
Joey: Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney?
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Ross: Okay, okay take a guess.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Monica: Well, she actually has a boyfriend yknow herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too.
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Chandler: No! That was a lie! See how easy that was?
Rachel: Yeah, we ended up spending the day together and had such a great time!
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Ross: Let me ask you something, at your school was there a like uh a place on campus where students went to uh, fool around.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party.
Rachel: (does a retching sound) Wait a minute! Why dont you guys do something?!
Ross: Excuse me. Hi, Im a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437?
Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall?
Ross: Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
Chandler: Well actually uh, there was something we wanted to tell you about the wedding. Um, its going to be a small ceremony. Uh, tiny! Were not even sure why were having it.
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that youre kind of a loner.
Phoebe: No, just a regular old flying dwarf.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: You speak Dutch? (In Dutch) Zeer vereerd een vriend van mijn moeder te ontmoeten. (Translation: Im very honored to meet a friend of my mother.)
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
Rachel: Well, she told me. She said shes kinda a loner.
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Monica: It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose.
Chandler: A hundred and forty-five pounds.
Chandler: Oooh that may be a New World's record (Looks at his watch and picks up Ross' pad)
Joey: (gets up) All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have.
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
Monica: Chandler? Can you give me a hand? (Grabs her jacket)
Phoebe: Hey you guys I'm gonna go out and take a walk.
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
Chandler: (scared) Is there a puppy here?
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
Rachel: Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? I mean, not even puppies?
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Ross: How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s.
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd say about a month.
Rachel: When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
Rachel: Oh, wait before you guys go, can I just ask you a question?
Rachel: So were you guys together a long time?
Ross: Im just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, yknow? I used them as mittens, I didnt want to touch a thing in that last place.
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
Tag: A year. On and off. I kinda thought we'd end up together. I don't anymore.
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
Tag: Wait-wait a minute; that doesn't make any sense.
Rachel: Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! (They hug)
Rachel: Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
Joey: Yeah. Uh, (thinks) a slice (Thinks) six dollars?
(We can hear the dog whining at a high pitch.)
Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here�s a question: "Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
Ross: From you? (He does a weird desperate laughter, like he's almost crying) Yes, please!
[Time lapse, Ross still laying a lot out the states.]
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
[The door opens and Chandler comes in. Rachel covers the door with a blanket]