words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Chandler: How about to the street say from the balcony?
Chandler: Okay. How about in that cabinet?
Chandler: How about the closet by the bathroom? (The secret green door by the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Im curious about the human body.
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Joey: Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
Monica: What are you talking about?! 007 has all those gadgets!
Phoebe: You know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... (they stare at her)... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
Joey: Hey-hey guys, hey! How about we settle this over a friendly game of Fireball? Huh? I'll go unhook the smoke detectors!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another time lapse, Monica is seeking advice from Rachel and Phoebe about possible replacement earrings.]
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Dina: Thanks so much for meetin with me. Joeys told me so much about you!
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Ross: Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Barry: Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to?
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"
Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.
Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]
Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Ross: 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Monica: You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing!
Joey: He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol.]
Carol: No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
Pizza Guy: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley.
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Ross: Pheebs, what about you?
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Phoebe: Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much.
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Chandler: Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. (takes phone)
Monica: About what?
Phoebe: About what?
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
Chandler: Something so sweet and...disturbing about that.
Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?
Paolo: (something romantic in Italian about Rachel and the stars)
[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?
Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me?
Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)
Ross: Some days it's all I can think about.
Chandler: Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not.
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
Ross: Do you uh, do you talk about me?
Ross: Ok. (browsing the apartment) Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.
Mrs. Green: For what dear? For not inviting me or lying about it?
Monica: Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.
Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
Ross: Come on! Forty-five minutes! Forty-five minutes the man talked about strappy backed dresses.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Chandler: Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family?
Ross: I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese.
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through!
Rachel: Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch thatI mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you soHey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]