words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Chandler: How about to the street say from the balcony?
Chandler: Okay. How about in that cabinet?
Chandler: How about the closet by the bathroom? (The secret green door by the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Im curious about the human body.
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Joey: Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Joey: (sticking his head out the door) What are you guys woofing about?
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Young Ethan: Yeah. You do know I was talking about you, right?
Monica: No-no. Nothing wrong about that.
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Joey: What about Andr�?
Joey: Do we have to know about that?
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
Rachel: Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.
Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
Chandler: Forget about her.
Monica: So, uh, have you ever thought about being there for her?
Monica: Think about it.
Chandler: What about the time difference?
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Joey: (panicked) Uhhh.. y'know what? Forget about me. Let's, uh... let's give you another turn.
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Rachel: Uh, yeah. Uh, Monica, y'know, honey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided thisthis whole Ross thing, it's just not a good idea.
Rachel: So I'm thinking about you. So what?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got.
Ross: Fine, just stop thinking about me.
Ross: No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
Joey: Frankie? What're you talking about?
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is now out and about.]
Joey: Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.
MONICA: Well, what about his family?
RACHEL: Well, what about my stuff?
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
CHANDLER: Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.
CHANDLER: Whoa! Don't know about that.
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
JULIE: What about Julie?
RACHEL: Maybe that's all we do, what about Julie?
Rachel: What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken!
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Jay Leno: (on TV) ...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?
CHANDLER: We can talk about that.
CHANDLER: So um, how come you guys haven't talked about this before?
RACHEL: Ok, we never shoulda talked about this.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
ROSS: What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital.
RACHEL: But what about Phoebe?
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
CAROLINE: I assume we're talking about the baby now.
Ross: Anyway.. um.. (Starts to sweep.) So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow?
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
MONICA: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
CHAN: So you really OK about all this?
RACH: Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that?
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
RACH: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
MNCA: We are talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel.
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
MNCA: Ok, how about pilgrim Mockolate mousse?
MNCA: How about Mockolate mousse?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
RACH: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's (RTST) office. Monica is there about a job.]