words in movies
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Chandler: Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didnt agree to that!
All: Yeah! Yeah, sort of. Im sorry.
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Elizabeth: (ignoring him and picking up a pitcher) Who drank all the Kamikazes?
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
(They all drink.)
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Phoebe: Eww! Oh, its all dirty. You should throw this out.
Monica: (entering) I had to go all the way to the basement because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes!
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Monica: Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, Im the one thats making him wait!
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
Chandler: If marriage worked, Id be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
(Rachel gets all happy.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Ross: All right.
(Rachel mixes them up in her hands, moves them all around, and puts her hands behind her back.)
Richard: Well all right, one thing happened?
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
(They all hug again.)
Monica: Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! (Bangs on her class with a spoon to make a toast.) Okay, umm, I just wanna say that I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. (Chandler clears his throat.) Our special night. I mean it just wouldnt be myour-our night, if you all werent here to celebrate with meusDamnit!
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
The Guys: Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Ross: We fell asleep! That is all.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
Tag: All right then, its settled.
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Chandler: As bad as that went I actually enjoyed myself. I think that Im going to apologize for all of the stupid things I do.
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie.
Monica: Is that all?
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Rachel: All right, I got 48.
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Joey: (gets up) All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have.
Joey: All right, well I guess Ill just have to do what I do on dates.
All: What?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? I mean, not even puppies?
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Tag: You have all the answers, don't you?
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Rachel: No? (He shakes his head) All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you.
Chandler: Monica's all upset, because I sent Clunkers away.
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Monica: That's right, she came back all by herself.
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Chandler: All right.
Joey: (sits down next to Ross) First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up!
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Monica: Did you eat all the neighbor candy?!
Joey: This is impossible Monica, why dont you just pick all 15? (Hands back the paper.)
Phoebe: All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Rosss. We'll be back in a minute. (Gets up with Monica to do so.)
Monica: Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!!
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
Phoebe: All right.
Ross: All right. Feel good?
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
Ross: All right, try pedaling.
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Chandler: All right, yknow what? Forget it, all of you forget it! Youve ruined it! Go home! Youve ruined it! Youve ruined it!
Dr. Franzblau: All right, ten centimeters, here we go.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
All: Hey!
All: Ohh! That's great!
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Ross: All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Chandler: My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. (Glaring at Joey whos nodding.)
Steve: Tartlets. Tartlets. Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning. (he gets up and goes into the kitchen)
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
Ross: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebodys stairs!
Rachel: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Ross: Okay, all right, Ill take you. Ill go call Joan. (Does so.)
David: Really? Because I think about you all the time.
Phoebe: Well, of course I would want to see you. I I think about you all the time.
Joey: Thats right, its all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)
Chandler: All right, Ill pick that one. (Points.)
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.
Phoebe: (seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
All: (groaning) Oh no! Oh no! (They all start to get up a leave.)
All: Okay! Okay! (They start to leave again.)