words in movies
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
Joey: (opening an envelope) Theres like-theres like 300 bucks in this one!
Phoebe: What kind of an emergency?
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
[Scene: The Animal Hospital, the guys have taken the duck in to remove the ring. Joey is pacing around like an expectant father.]
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
Monica: About a half an hour.
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Ross: I have an oily T-zone!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Ross: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebodys stairs!
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
(An old woman pushes a cart full of books past.)
Joey: Someone like an angel?
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Yknow, start the heeling process?
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
Ross: Okay, forward. ForwardStop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, backStop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forwardStop! Stop! Stop!
Monica: (holding up a glove) Oh, an old glove?
Ross: Pheebs, youre talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and its all for somebody else!
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Cecilia: Yeah but Jessica doesnt have an English accent.
Jessica Lockhart: (gasps) That was an accident! And so were you.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Cecilia: I am. I am, but I dont know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.
(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Joey: (flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Joey: No-no-no-no look no! I wont spit, and I wont stare at Monicas breasts! Yknow? Everyone knows Im an ass man!
Ross: Rach, hes not an ex-con.
Joey: Oh, hey listen! The Soapies called today and I also get to present an award.
RACHEL: No, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Do you really want an award you didnt win?
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Melissa: Oh no, thats-thats an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. (Makes like he's juggling.) Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone
Policeman: Youre an Aquarius, huh?
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
Helena: Chandler? What an unusual name! You mustve had terribly fascinating parents.
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
[Cut to an office building.]
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
Ross: 15? (Joey nods again) Your personal best! (Ross takes an Oreo and Joey mumbles, no!)
Matthew: Our energy just comes way up when theres an audience here and when that happens, something happens between your brain and your mouth sometimes and it just doesnt, it just doesnt work.
Kathy's Co-Star: Is that an expensive blouse?
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman.
Dennis Phillips: Its an all Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese?
Joey: Im gonna be an uncle! Come here! (He joins the hug.)
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
(Rachel runs up cluching an envelope.)
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Monica: I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Rachel: It was an amazing night.
Ross: It was. It was an amazing night.
Chandler: Youre an actor!
(Phoebe turns to leave but notices an attractive man.)
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Eric: Im an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Phoebe: Wow! What an incredible violationand wonderful surprise.
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Eric: Uhh, I wont take no for an answer.
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
Ross: Uh thats an eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta.