words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.]
Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
Chandler: You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler!
Monica: Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.
Ross: (singing) "...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll"!
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross and Chandler enter.]
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
Chandler and Ross: Way!
Chandler: All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.
Chandler: Oh, and Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway.
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
Joey: Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...
Phoebe: You know, the strippers, and the guys dancing, and you know, pee-pee's flying about.
Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!
Stage Manager : And we're out!
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Missy: Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot!
Ross: (angrily) AND ON MY TURF?
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
Rachel: All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find!
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...
Donny: Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Chandler and Ross: Hey! Hey Adrienne. (They move away from her)
Chandler: Oh please, and you knew how much I liked her.
(An 80's Rachel and fat Monica walk into the party room. Both with funny hair-do's and clothes)
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
[Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".]
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
Rachel: (blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
Chandler: I'm in college and I'm in a band.
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
Donny: Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready?
(the screen says "6 to win" and "types of trees")
(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")
(There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.)
(and another bell for the correct answer. "3 to win" and "What a dog might say")
(the bell sounds again, "2 to win" and "pizza toppings")
(there's 10 seconds left, "1 to win" and "Supermodels")
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's there and Ross and Chandler walk in.]
Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed?
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, its Monicas bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.]
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Rachel: Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake!
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
(He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Scenes Taken From Episodes Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips, guineapig, Ruth Curran, Josh Hodge, and Me.
Monica: And?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie is eating dinner and Ross is pacing behind her because of what shes eating.]
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
[And with that we go into the save the budget portion of the show, which features flashbacks from previous episodes. The first set of auditions feature high lights or low lights of Joeys acting career. The first flashback is from The One With The Lesbian Wedding.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan and Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Rachel: Oh, get out of here! (Jumps back and walks away.)
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Rachel: (motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if theres anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.
Rachel: Honey, might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!?
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Phoebe: Okay, it just seems pretty wild and youre soyknow so vanilla.
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Rachel: we went back the house and we got really silly and we we made out.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Monica: Between you and
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Monica: A little tight? I could see double-oh and seven in those pants.
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Melissa: Aww, look whos being suddenly shy. You cant tell me you dont feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. (Goes in again.)
Rachel: And?
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]