words in movies
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go!
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
David: Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion.
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Phoebe: I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right?
David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
(Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside)
[Scene: Back in New York, Monica and Chandler in Central Perk on the couch]
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
[Scene: Barbados, hotel lounge. David, Phoebe and Rachel have just arrived.]
(Joey spots them and walks towards them)
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
(Rachel turns around and sees Chandler and Monica arriving)
(Monica and Chandler reach the group)
Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross!
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) And make sure our room isn't next to theirs (points to Phoebe).
David: So, ehm... I'm proposing to Pheobe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring)
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Phoebe: Are you leaving "The Supremes"? (Monica and Phoebe go to one side)
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
[Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop]
Ross: By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
[Scene: Mike's apartment. His phone rings and he picks up]
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
Rachel: And... that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend.
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
[Scene: Ross's room. Charlie is sitting on the bed, while Ross is walking up and down nervously]
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Rachel: Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her)
(Ross and Charlie walk into the hall from Ross's room)
Ross and Charlie: Hey!
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Joey: Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who...
(Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.)
Ross and Rachel: Ok, good night!
[Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table]
(Phoebe and David walk in)
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table)
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.]
Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion.
Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating.
Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous!
Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
Joey: Yeah, and so funny!
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
Chandler: Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying!
Chandler: And...?
Phoebe: ... and...?
(Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look)
[Scene: Joey and Charlie's room]
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night...
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
(Monica and Mike start to play ping pong. Mike scores)
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Alexandra Steele: (meteorologist) (pointing to the East Coast)... all these coasts having beautiful weather. In New York, it's 72 and sunny!
Joey: Uh... Charlie and I broke up.
(He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed)
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later!
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Joey: CURIOUS GEORGE (see link)! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat!
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him!
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump.
[Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking]
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
Charlie: Uh, well... Joey and I broke up.
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness!
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
(Chandler scores and wins the match)
Chandler: And that's... how... it's done!
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Russell: And well need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
(Joey, Chandler and Ross enter.)
Woman: How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone but Monica is there playing Monopoly.]
Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
(They run and hug each other.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping!
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Phoebe: And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants.
Chandler: Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) Im sorry Rachel, Im sorry
Tommy: Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! (starts to walk out and stops) (to Rachel) Well, I guess were not going out anymore. Whaa!!!
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.
Rachel: With Ross and Jill?
Rachel: With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?
Rachel: With Ross and my sister?
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Jill: Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didnt go in. How strong am I?
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
(They all agree and head to Monica's room.)
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Rachel: Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
(We see the TV and its the last scene where ET is saying goodbye.)
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
Jill: Youll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didnt even tell me why!
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
(Joey and Ross enter.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
(Joey and Ross exchange looks.)
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Chandler: Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I dont do porn.
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
Ross: And it could've just as easily have been a bullet.
(Upon hearing this, Joey cant turn his chair around fast enough and knocks it over.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I figured a shot yknow? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldnt think I was yknow, all dead inside.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
(They click their glasses and take a sip. That sip turns into a gulp, which quickly progresses into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.)
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Ross: Well, Id love to! Here, you wait right here and Ill go get the projector and my notes!
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
(He goes into another room to get his projector and notes. While hes gone, Jill quickly checks her makeup.
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Rachel: (teasingly) And while Im gone dont you boys sneak a taste.
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Originally written by Sebastian Jones and Brian Buckner.
Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!
Ross: Oh waithold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Jill: (To Ross) And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-whos Barry and Mindy?
Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]