words in movies
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
[Scene: Rosss bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Phoebe: I dont know! How are the-the-the-the, yknowYoure clothes arent funny.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Oh, come on! We know what these are worth.
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Chandler: Are you serious?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
Phoebe: Hey, so? Are you gonna do it?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Chandler: Why are you screaming and hugging?
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Emily: You are mad!
Emily: My parents are going to be really mad.
Ross: Is thatare you saying yes? Is that yes?
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: We are switching back, right now!
[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]
Monica: Men are such idiots.
Phoebe: What? Oh, are you pregnant too?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are sitting at the table eating dinner and not talking. Ross and Rachel are outside cuddling on the balcony.]
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Phoebe: No that's just me coughing! (Doing some weird coughing noises and the dog barks again. Phoebe comes out of the room.) Oh, good, there you are! Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook....
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Phoebe: No-no, its okay. But are we sure we dont want the waterbed?
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Rachel: Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Rachel: Oh but you could. You can. Absolutely! We can help each other out! We can get--what are those--those patches! We could be like the Patch Sisters!
Phoebe: Yeah, me too. Not in the shaky angry way you are though.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
[Scene: Beatrice Bridal Shop, Monica and Phoebe are there to pick up Emilys dress.]
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.]
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
Monica: (taking a drink from Joey) Are you through with that?
Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
Rachel: Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
Joey: Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
Rachel: Why are- why are you so tanned?
Monica: (entering, to herself) Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here.
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Joey: You are? Ross, I'm sorry..
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?
Rachel: Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina) Right?
Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!
Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.
Monica: I cant do that either! The soles are already a little scuffed up and the insides are filled with my blood.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we?
Joanne: When are you coming home?
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are watching the game.]
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are trying to find their seats.]
Ross: What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Phoebe: You are just like Jack.
Rachel: Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?
Rachel: Hello? Who are we spying on?
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are still out on the balcony.]
[Scene: Central Perk, all six are there.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all out on the balcony.]
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
[Scene: Central Perk, all are there.]
[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]
Ross: So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight?
Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]