words in movies
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Joey: Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Ross: Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Chandler: (spotting her) Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are!
Dr. Harad: All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.
Phoebe: They are. Why?
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Frank are there.]
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Monica: So, why wait 'til Saturday, are you free tomorrow?
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
[Scene: A hallway, Monica and Dan are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Ross: Are ya?
Ross: What are you doing up?
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: Are you serious?!
[Scene: The New School, Monica, carrying her dish, and Joey are confronting the food critic.]
Katie: Are you okay with this?
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are entering.]
Phoebe: Oh! Its okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Ross: How are you?
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
[Scene: The New School, Joey and Monica are walking down a hallway.]
Ross: Hey! What are you guys looking at?
Monica: Are we gonna take a limo?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Rachel: Hi Dr. Long, how are you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Monica: How are you doing?
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Rachel: How are you?
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
Monica: What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think were ready to have a baby now?!
Joey: (voice all high and weird) What?! Are you crazy?!
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Ross: Are you kidding? Look, were not gonna be together just because were having a baby. Okay?
Ross: Wow! Sorry. So uh, how are the new people?
Evil Bitch: Are you looking at her?!
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Monica: We are pretty good.
Monica: So were gonna try? I mean, are we trying?
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Cliff: Are all the questions this personal?
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Monica: I cant believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?
Rachel: Are you okay?
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Rachel: Well what are we going to do?
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Joey: What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise thats not gonna happen.
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are trying the home remedies again.]
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Rachel: No! You gotta get me out of here Phoebe! These bargain shoppers are crazy!
Chandler: As we all are at some point during the day.
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
Phoebe: Are you all right?
Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Phoebe: Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so.
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Ross: Dad, what are you doing?
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Phoebe: No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged!
Phoebe: Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Monica: What?! Are you crazy? You just had Rosss baby! Its-its so inappropriate. No, its worse than that. Its wrong. Its It is bigger than mine! (Rachels engagement ring.)
Rachel: We really are.
Monica: Ok, I dont wanna be negative so Ill say that most of the signs you bought are good.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Ms. McKenna: Are you on board?
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are sitting at one of the high tables.]
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Rachel: Because (laughs), because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel (laughs) was like, "You are such an idiot!"