words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Monica: But you are?
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Monica: What are you trying on now?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! (They sit back up.)
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Chandler: Where are you going?
[Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.]
Monica: What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?
Phoebe: David! (He kisses her cheek) What-what are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be in Russia?
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Joey: So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are entering and finding their table.]
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Are you kidding? Eight hours with my mother talking about Atkins? Good luck, Emma!
[Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.]
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Ross: Are we off the bridge?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
(They realise that the birds are in the foosball table.)
Phoebe: Ross, where are you going?
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, you wouldn't believe the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen.
Monica: Newark airport. Why, where are you?
Air stewardess: Excuse me, sir, where are you going?
Rachel: Wait, what are you doing?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Rachel: Oh my God... What.. What are you guys doing here?
Gate attendant #2: Miss? Are you boarding the plane?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.]
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
Ross: Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid.
(Two other men are rolling the big white dog out of the apartment.)
[Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking]
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Rachel: Oh, you are the lesser of two evils!
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
CHANDLER: Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, and now Rachel are organizing CDs.]
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.]
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, a post-coital Monica and Chandler are recovering on the couch.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are still discussing Bobby and Dinas situation.]
Ticket Counter Attendant: Are you travelling with a child?
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Rachel: So uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
[Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table]
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are relaxing in sexual bliss.]
Ross: Wh- are you welling up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe, back to reality, are sitting in normal clothes.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the cookie trying period has pasted. Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are reflecting on the days events.]
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
[Scene: A restaurant. Fun Bobby and Monica are ordering.]
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe, still defying reality, are now throwing a bouquet at each other, pretending to catch the actual bouquet at an actual wedding.]
Chandler: Y'know, I uh.. just thought I'd throw this out here. I'm no math whiz, but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. (Makes kiss noise)
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
[Scene: The beachhouse, Ross and Rachel are argueing about the breakup.]
Joey: What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!!
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand!
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
Ross: Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal!
Ross: We are a rare breed.