words in movies
(He walks over and kisses her. They pull back, Rachel looks at him, and they kiss again.)
Ross: Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me "Sex for Dummies" as a joke.
[Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.]
(Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.)
(Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.)
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Joey: Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.
(Monica looks at him.)
(Chandler stares at the doctor, completely shocked. Monica just freezes and turns around slowly.)
Rachel: Hi! So I just dropped Emma off at my mom's.
Ross: Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel.
Gunther: I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.
(She kisses him on the cheek and looks over at the others.)
Chandler: Have fun at church-camp!
(The nurses take Erica to the recovery room. Monica and Chandler smile at each other.)
Monica: Oh, look at these little bunnies!
(She points at the stain.)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
[Scene: The gate. Rachel walks up to the man at the gate and gives him her passport.]
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
(Monica is standing by the crib, and she's looking at her babies.)
Monica: Oh, okay. Alright, it's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40.
Monica: That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport.
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
(The passenger in the seat next to Rachel looks at her and seems a little nervous.)
Chandler: Well, at least we got these little guys out.
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
Phoebe: Hey, do you realise that at one time or another we all lived in this apartment?
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Monica: Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow well be getting married?
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Joey: Damn! I am good at Cups!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
(Ross points at him and exits.)
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
Ross: Im telling you, just a little bit at a time.
(Ross just glares at her.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Monica:: Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Chandler: Trust me, you dont want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel at their table.]
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
Dennis Phillips: Oh, Im so sorry I missed the ceremony, I was stuck at auditions.
Ross: Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six.
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a way-to-go thumbs up and smile.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachel at their table.]
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Rachel: Oh wait! Yknow what? I cant, I cant look at it. I cant. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Joey: Look at this! A millionaire's checkbook.
[Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.]
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Man At The Wedding: But there was no flash.
Man At The Wedding: Uh, would you take one of us?
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Man At The Wedding: Uh, your finger was covering the lens.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Ross: Oh hey, right back at ya.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Melissa: (laughs) Oh you dont have to be (Laughs again) sorry. Im Im obviously kidding. Im not in love with you. (To Phoebe) Im not in love with her. I dont hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I dont picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
Dina: Well, at least Im not a murderer! (Jessica slaps her.)
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Phoebe: Well at Monicas you can eat(Suddenly cracks up.)
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Bitsy: Well, not at all...
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)
Joey: Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) Thats right.
Phoebe: Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lots and lots of love.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Joey: Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
(They both look at Phoebe.)
Rachel: Yeah, one time, when we were dating, uh we got a late checkout, he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until yknow, he screamed out Radisson at the end.
Phoebe: Now wasnt Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?