words in movies
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Monica: Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow well be getting married?
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
(Ross points at him and exits.)
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Ross: Im telling you, just a little bit at a time.
(Ross just glares at her.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
(At Somplace Nice)
JOEY: Hey, hey, look at that talent.
RACHEL: Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well.
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is sitting at the couches, Chandler enters.]
CHAN: OK, let's do it. [Monica looks at him funny] What?
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
RACH: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
ROSS: No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
[Ross is at his apartment.]
[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
Erica: I don't want to look at your file! This is over.
JOEY: Well she better get here soon, the outlet stores close at 7.
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
[There's a bang at the door.]
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
[Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.]
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?
[Everyone looks at each other in amazement.]
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
RACH: Noooo, no, I'm not mad at him. I'm.. I'm not really anything at him anymore.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel at counter, Phoebe, Chandler, and Fun Bobby at the couch.]
MNCA: Ahhh, hey honey? Don't you have to be at your interview now?
PHOE: [looks at Russ] Oh, yeah! No, no, no, no, oh, oh.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
MNCA: Yes, I would like something. [looks at Fun Bobby, changes her mind] No, no thank you.
Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
[Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.]
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length]
ROSS: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
Chandler: (stares at her intently, then yells) It was a "Wendy's!! "
[at Rachel and Monica's]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Monica: (to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.
[at Rachel and Monica's
MRS GREEN: I do. You didn't love Barry. And I've never seen you this happy. I look at you and I think, oh, this is what I want.
MRS GREEN: Look at this.
[knock at the door]
[at the wedding]
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
MONICA: Would you look at them?
[at Monica and Rachel's]
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
[A guy is sitting at his desk and his boss comes in and drops a huge pile of papers on his desk. The guy looks dejected.]
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.
[Some guy at another table starts choking]
RACHEL: Not at all inappropriate!
ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Mr. Douglas: (Shutting the door, then pointing vaguely at Ninas shapely departure) Shes still here.
[knock at the door]
ERICA: Oh my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this?
ERICA: Drake, what're you getting at?
[Scene: The next time at the movie set.]
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and the girls are sitting at the couches.]
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Monica: I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story.
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves]
RACHEL: Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute.
[Monica and Rachel start yelling at the same time]
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
PHOEBE: [sees Marcel at the window] Oh my God.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Julie: Well, little Jamie here is our third. So, if you have questions or you need anything at all, just holler.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)