words in movies
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?
Quartet: (singing) Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss.
Ross: What's going on?! (throws the love bug at him) That's what's going on!!
(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Ross: Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.
Rachel: There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
(Monica waves at Julio.)
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Phoebe: (looking at the picture again) Man alive!
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Ross: Well now lets-lets look at this objectively, I think I should date her
Joey: (gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Phoebe: Yay!! Oh so, youre not, youre not mad at us anymore?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Chandler: Oooh that may be a New World's record (Looks at his watch and picks up Ross' pad)
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Tag: (looking at the street) Oh my god! Those guys are stealing my car! (He points down to the street)
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(We can hear the dog whining at a high pitch.)
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Chandler: Please, please, please, don't be mad at me.
(Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
Tag: Yes, at 4:00.
Ross: (stunned at the complement) Youre welcome.
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
Tag: I'm okay. I gotta go down to the police station and look at mug shots.
Gary: (looking at Monica.) Mm! Seems like I wouldve remembered you!
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Rachel: Youre lookin at it upside downyknow what? (Grabs the evaluation and throws it out.) It doesnt matter.
The Man: Were waiting for the candy. (Yelling at the door.) Bring out the candy!
Rachel: (looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)
Tag: I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?
Chandler: Forty-five minutes? We have tickets to the Musicman at 8:00.
Ross: We have 8:00 reservations at Grammercy Bistero.
Ben: Santa's mad at me.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Rachel: (stopping at Phoebes entrance) Ha!
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes at her desk while the mailman delivers her mail and calls Tag in.]
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Rachel: Oh wow! Look at this place!
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Chandler: My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. (Glaring at Joey whos nodding.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Chandler: (nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.
Chandler: Oh, whats at 8:00?
Joey: Ill see you at 8:00.
Phoebe: Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunnys funeral?
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Chandler: Oh really? Uh, Monica said she had a date at 9:00.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Joey: No! No! No Pheebs, Im not gonna yell at you. I just yknow, started thinking about you and David and I remember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just Oh Pheebs, come here. (He hugs her.) Are you okay?
Phoebe: (seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Joey: (looking through his binoculars at a nearby building) Yknow what else makes you wonder?
Joey: Right-right up here. (Starts looking at them through a piece of pipe.)
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: Yknow what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God, look at these pelts!
Ross: (standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
Joey: Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel at the Spa. Phoebe is still massaging Rachel]
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
Rachel: Oh come on, what are you talking about? Youve got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Fridays, come on!
Monica: Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Joey: (slowly turning and glaring at her) Shes not even cold yet!
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
Rachel: No, no dont get mad because lookthis is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da!
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is hard at work.]
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Ross: Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
(We hear some fumbling at the door, then silence.)
(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.