words in movies
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
ESTL: Well, there's my favorite client. So tell me darling, how was the audition?
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal."
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
ROSS: That audition.
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
Phoebe: Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Joey: Yep, that's my audition.
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Student: Guess what, I got an audition!
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.
[Scene: Joey's audition.]
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
[Scene: Joey's audition, he is with bag.]
Chandler: Hey man, how did the audition go?
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Ross: Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well.
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
Monica: Hey! How'd the audition go?!
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
[Scene: Joey and Ben's audition, Joey is rehearsing his lines, uh correction, Joey is rehearsing his line.]
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Joey: Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
[Scene: Casting Director #2s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]
Chandler: Hey, buddy boy, howd the audition go?
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Joey: Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Phoebe is helping Joey rehearse for an audition. Phoebe is overacting her part.]
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Monica: Wait a minute, are you doing Joey's (sadly) "Audition didn't go so well. (Happily) Yeah it did?"
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Terry: Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
[Scene: Cole-Geddes Casting Agency, Joey is there on his audition and thinking about that 2,000 bucks for the twins study.]
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Joey: (smile fades) What audition?
Estelle: So, how did your audition go today?
Joey: What? You never said anything about an audition!
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Ross: Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.
(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.