words in movies
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal."
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
ROSS: That audition.
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
Joey: Yep, that's my audition.
Phoebe: Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?
Student: Guess what, I got an audition!
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
[Scene: Joey's audition.]
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
[Scene: Joey's audition, he is with bag.]
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Chandler: Hey man, how did the audition go?
Ross: Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well.
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
Monica: Hey! How'd the audition go?!
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Joey: Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.
ESTL: Well, there's my favorite client. So tell me darling, how was the audition?
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
[Scene: Joey and Ben's audition, Joey is rehearsing his lines, uh correction, Joey is rehearsing his line.]
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
[Scene: Casting Director #2s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: Hey, buddy boy, howd the audition go?
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Phoebe is helping Joey rehearse for an audition. Phoebe is overacting her part.]
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Joey: Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!!
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Terry: Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Monica: Wait a minute, are you doing Joey's (sadly) "Audition didn't go so well. (Happily) Yeah it did?"
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.
[Scene: Cole-Geddes Casting Agency, Joey is there on his audition and thinking about that 2,000 bucks for the twins study.]
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Joey: (smile fades) What audition?
Estelle: So, how did your audition go today?
Joey: What? You never said anything about an audition!
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.