words in movies
Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Chandler: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Rachel: Im having a baby.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean youre having a baby!
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Ross: Yeah. I mean we are having a baby together.
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Joey: Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!
Dina: Were gonna be all right. I mean, even if were not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Phoebe: Are you two talking about the same baby? Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet?
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Dr. Long: Okay! All your tests look fine. Now, are you two interested in knowing the sex of the baby?
Ross: So, I uh I called the doctor and now we both know the sex of the baby.
Rachel: Oh, yes! Well have ourselves a little baby Ruth
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
(Finally, the baby is delivered and starts crying.)
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Doctor: Oh, here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations!
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Phoebe: You want it there? You take it there baby!
Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um.. I had a baby.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
Ross: Rachel whos carrying my baby? Rachel?
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Rachel: My boss wants to buy my baby!
Joey: What he wants to buy your baby?!
Rachel: Yeah, and umm my baby.
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?!
Joey: Do you think you can just buy my friends baby?!
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Aunt Lisa: Congratulations on the baby, and on the wedding
Ross: Yeah baby!
Joey: Yeah you are baby.
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Phoebe: What? Hes gonna be dressed as a baby! (Mrs. Green enters.) Oh hi Mrs. Green!
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Ross: Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Phoebe: Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)