words in movies
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Monica: (interrupting) You have nothing! You're not even going out! You're her baby sitter! You have a 12-year-old girl's job!
Monica: Hey baby. (Kisses him.)
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
Monica: No, you said the baby creeps you out.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. Im really sorry I was a baby.
Rachel: I know, I lied! I didnt want her to think I was a terrible mother! I cant even see my own baby!
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
Monica: We have a baby?
Phoebe: Oh and theyre gonna have a baby.
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
Chandler: Our baby.
Monica: What baby?
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Rachel: Im having a baby.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
Rachel: Well then you have his baby.
Joey: Oh my God Pheebs! Youre gonna have a baby?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
Phoebe: Thank God, cause that hair on a baby
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean youre having a baby!
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Ross: Yeah. I mean we are having a baby together.
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Dina: Were gonna be all right. I mean, even if were not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Joey: Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Phoebe: Are you two talking about the same baby? Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet?
Rachel: Oh, yes! Well have ourselves a little baby Ruth
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Ross: So, I uh I called the doctor and now we both know the sex of the baby.
Dr. Long: Okay! All your tests look fine. Now, are you two interested in knowing the sex of the baby?
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Doctor: Oh, here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
(Finally, the baby is delivered and starts crying.)
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Phoebe: You want it there? You take it there baby!
Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um.. I had a baby.
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?!
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Ross: Rachel whos carrying my baby? Rachel?
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Rachel: My boss wants to buy my baby!
Joey: What he wants to buy your baby?!