words in movies
Monica: (lying down on a mattress) Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.
Rachel: Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
(Joey does the 232 divided by 13 bad news look.)
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?
Ross: It's not bad.
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Monica: Wow, what's the bad news!
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Chandler: Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.
Rachel: Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad.
Monica: Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.
Phoebe: So bad.
Ross : So bad.
Rachel: So bad.
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now.
Joey: It smells really bad in here.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Ross: Even if we want it really bad.
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Chandler: That is a bad interview.
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her.
Chandler: Is it really that bad?
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
Chandler: Well its just my entire family was run out of Scotland by Vikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)
Joey: Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and the economy is bad.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Phoebe: Well its only like my favorite bay! {Actually, its not bad. It just gets a little cold in winter, but in Wisconsin winter only lasts from August to June. J }
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Gary: Oh yeah? Well maybe you and I should take a walk through a bad neighborhood.
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?
Chandler: Okay, y'know, we-we're safe right? I mean nothing bad can go down!
Monica: Phoebe! You kinda caught me at a bad time.
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Ross: Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought Id take that bad boy out for a little spin.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Chandler: Oh Joeys got a really bad hernia, but thats nothing a little laser eye surgery wont fix!
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Phoebe: (the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!
Ross: What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad.
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley.
Monica: You guys, I am not that bad!
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
Chandler: (to himself) Too bad, she's leaving.
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
Rachel: Oh... that's too bad. Bye bye. (she walks away towards the door)
Nina: Which is bad, because?
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Mindy: Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you.
Rachel: (Out of shot) Stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".