words in movies
Chandler: Did you see our bank statement? Can this be right?
Monica: Oh, But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was y'know... finding gold.
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Monica: (Looks exasperated) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Joey: Well it's...It's not that crazy okay? Making them smaller, that would be crazy.
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Ross: But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike.
Ross: Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.]
Joey: Rach?! (He walks over to the fridge to put it in, but it cannot be opened either) Rachel!!!!? (He walks to the bathroom and tries to lift the toilet seat cover. It won't come up.) So I can't do anything I like????
Rachel: Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too!
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?
Ross: I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal.
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Earl: Okay, I should, I should probably be getting back to my thing now. See ya. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Kristen: Our table will be ready in a couple minutes.
Earl: It doesnt really seem like enough to be fate.
Earl: Couldnt it just be a coincidence?
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Tag: And I never used to be able to just talk to girls in bars, but I got like 20 phone numbers last night.
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Ross: What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Rachel: (crying) Itll be a short one.
Rachel: Oh yeah, now everybody wants to be under this hat!
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Joey: Oh, tell me about it. And shes been on the show forever, its gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.
Rachel: Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.
STEVE: You used to be my babysitter.
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Cecilia: Is that supposed to be me?
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Rachel: Well be right back sir.
Joey: Yeah well, Im guessing after this shes not going to be crazy about electricity either.
Joey: Ohh. Wow! Well how-how, how will you be gone?
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?
Ben: Ill be okay.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Chandler: Easy for you to say; youll be wearing a veil.
Monica: It might be kinda cool.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Chandler: (without turning around) I thought you were gonna be gone all day.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! I cant go! Im gonna be too nervous!
Monica: Well you should be embarrassed. (Leaves.)
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.
Richard: That might be fun. (Richard and Lisa sit down.)
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Rachel: Ill be out in a second.
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later were gonna be late. We gotta go.
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Cassie: I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler.
Chandler: Ill be right with you.
Monica: They just gonna love you, just be yourself.
Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again?
Ross: Well Im, Im a little slow. (To himself) Just as our children would be.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Monica: I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine.
Rachel: Oh, stop that! Dont kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be there?
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Joey: Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
Phoebe: Okay, then I must be disoriented.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Monica: Then all your stuff would be here.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.
Ross: Itll be okay Joe.
Rachel: You really think it would be that different?
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again.
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Monica: Chandler! Hes your father; he should be at the wedding.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.