words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Ross: There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi (Ben is holding a Barbi doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi?
Ross: Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is still trying to get Ben to play with something other than the Barbi doll.]
Ross: Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. (singing) 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbi, drop the Barbi.
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Ross: All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Monica: See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.
Ross: I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings
Emily: If anyone asks, well just say Ben addressed them. (Looking through the envelopes.) Oh! So you invited Rachel then?
Ross: Because, because Ive got Ben.
Joey: (quietly) Ive got Ben.
Ross: Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? (As he picks up the fake Ben.)
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Ben: No more pranks.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Ross: Yeah? Well, I-I think Bens asleep.
Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.
Ben: (yelling from off camera) Crap!!
Ben: (entering) Dad!! (Runs and hugs him.)
Ben: Yay! (Runs off.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Ben: What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ben: (on the bike) Im ready!
Ben: Uh-huh!
Ben: (To Chandler) Thanks daddy.
Ben: No.
Ben: Christmas eve.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is whirling Ben around.]
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly!
Ben: Christmas.
Ross: Well, I do, so let's... (Ben and Ross sit down on the couch) So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya?
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Ben: When is Santa coming?
Ben: So Santa's coming?
Ben: Santa's mad at me.
Monica: Matt Guire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wire
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Ben: (singing) Jingle bells, jingle bells...
Ben: No Santa? Was I bad?
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
Ben: (singing) Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer...
Ben: Texas?
Ben: Cool!
Monica: Come on Ben.
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?
Ben: Did you bring me any presents, Santa?
Ross: You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas, ooh, and Happy Hanukkah!
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Ben: Wow! Thanks!
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
[Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.]
[Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.]
Ross: Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!
Ben: Okay, Santa!
Ben: No! Why can't the Armadillo leave? I want Santa!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Ben: No! Why does he have to go?
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ben: (answering him) Eight whole days.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Ben: Awesome!
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Thats right! Wait no, Ben.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: Hi! Hi Ben!
Ben: (running to the bathroom) Thanks Phoebe!
Ben: Hi.
Ben: Ill be okay.
Ben: Whats a virgin?
Ben: Not really.
Ben: Bye dad.
Ben: Okay.
Ben: Im not allowed to have soda.
Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ben: Dont talk to me now!
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Ben: Really? Like how?
Ben: Cause you guys were on a break.
Ben: But youre not anymore!
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I-I-Im funny Ben, but Im not stupid. Okay?
Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Ben: (mimicking her) Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Ben: Oh crap!
Ben: Dont do that.
Ben: Oh damnit!
Ben: Damnit!