words in movies
Directed by: Ben Weiss Written by: Mark Kunerth Transcript by: David Buehrle
Ross: There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi (Ben is holding a Barbi doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi?
Phoebe: And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die.
Ben: (prompting her) What did we agree?
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.
Susan: I like Ben.
Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben?
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Carol: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
(Monica holds Ben.)
Phoebe: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Ross: And here's little Ben nodding off...
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Carol: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Phoebe: Ben, dinner!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Ben: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
MONICA: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
(Chandler and Joey are loaded down with baby stuff, and Ben)
ROSS: What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital.
MONICA: Aw, my little nephew. Come here, little one. There's my little baby Ben. Hey, my little boy. Hey, he's not crying.
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
(Ben starts crying)
ROSS: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
CHANDLER: Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off.
MONICA: So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do?
CHANDLER AND JOEY: (running after bus) Ben! Ben! Ben!
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.]
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length]
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
RACHEL: Uh, I'm holding Ben.
CHANDLER: Isn't Ben in this?
BEN: Bye.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
RACHEL: Guess what. Ben just said his first word.
BEN: Hi.
RACHEL: Ben just said hi.
ROSS: Bye Ben.
BEN: Bye.
BEN: Bye.
BEN: Bye.
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is still trying to get Ben to play with something other than the Barbi doll.]
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Monica: So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Ben: Monica.
Ben: Monica bang!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Ben: Monica.
Ben: Monica bang!
Ben: Monica bang!
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are dressing up Ben in the entire rain suit from Rainy Day Bear.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are babysitting Ben.]
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
Rachel: So were okay, were okay, were okay, (starts to exam Ben) arent we? No, were not okay, were not okay, theres a bump, theres a bump.
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Ross: Wheres Ben?
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Amanda: Hi Ben!
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
[Scene: Amanda's apartment, Ross is arriving with Ben.]
Carol: Hey, Ben! Hey!
Carol: Hey! Hows Ben?
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Ben: Hi!!
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Phoebe: Oooh look! Isnt this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine!