words in movies
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Paolo: Ah! Nora Bing!
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu)
Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Mrs. Bing: Who's doing shots?
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
[Cut to Mrs. Bing on the telephone.]
Mrs. Bing: Yeah, any messages for room 226?
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?
Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight?
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!
Mrs. Bing: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy...
Mrs. Bing: You are gonna be fine, believe me.
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)
Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Mrs. Bing: You okay, kiddo?
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Chandler: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising.
Phoebe: You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Mr. Bing: Nora!
Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Doug: Good God Bing I well I cant say Im altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
MNCA: [to Chandler] Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes.
SUSIE: Chandler Bing?
JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
(bing, bong)
(the computer bing, bongs)
Janice: Good-bye Chandler Bing. (walks out with one shoe)
Santos: Hello, Mr. Bing.
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Doug: (turning around) Bing! You got those numbers for me?
Doug: (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Joey: So, youre just Bing?
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
Chandler: (Answering the phone at work) Hello, Chandler Bing.
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Chandler: Yes! Chandler Bing, 7! Chandler Bing, 0.
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Doug: Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game.
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Doug: Bing!
Kara: Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)
Doug: The joke Bing. What's the matter with you?
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Doug: (entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?
Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groomNo! Not the groom!!
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Mr. Bing: (entering) Hello all!
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Mrs. Bing: Charles.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
Mrs. Bing: Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover.
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Mr. Franklin: Youre a joker Bing. (Walks away.)
Rachel: (thinks then gasps) Chandler M. Bing?
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Mr. Franklin: Wow Bing! Burning the midnight oil.
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Doug: Bing! Were all set for tonight, 8 oclock.
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Ticket Agent: Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing youll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing youll be in 25K.
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.