words in movies
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Mr. Bing: (entering) Hello all!
Mrs. Bing: Charles.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Mrs. Bing: Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover.
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
Mr. Franklin: Youre a joker Bing. (Walks away.)
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
Mr. Franklin: Wow Bing! Burning the midnight oil.
Rachel: (thinks then gasps) Chandler M. Bing?
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Ticket Agent: Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing youll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing youll be in 25K.
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Doug: Bing! Were all set for tonight, 8 oclock.
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Doug: BingWhats this?! (Grabs his hand.)
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Joey: You-you must choose Mr. Bing.
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Phoebe: Bing, what an unusual name.
CHANDLER: Chandler Bing.
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Chandler: Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing.
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Chandler: Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation.
Receptionist: Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from?
Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all.
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves)
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Monica: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing.
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Janice: Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.
Doug: Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette!
Chandler: (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
(He shows them a beautiful banner he has made. It reads, "Welcome to the World, Baby Bing.")
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Mrs. Bing: Oh yes, Dennis is directing a new Broadway show.
(Mr. Douglas screws up his eyes, trying to credit what Bing has just said, but turning to follow Nina down the corridor, he realises Bing must be telling the truth, since he would not have any personal interest in the girl, would he?)
Chandler: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising.
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Phoebe: You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Mr. Bing: Nora!
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
Doug: Good God Bing I well I cant say Im altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?
Mrs. Bing: Who's doing shots?
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Paolo: Ah! Nora Bing!
Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight?
[Cut to Mrs. Bing on the telephone.]
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!
Mrs. Bing: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy...
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.