words in movies
The Fan: No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store arent gonna believe this! (Exits.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is reading a book as Rachel returns.]
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in Joey's room creaking, and does a 'Oh no, not again' look on his face.]
Phoebe: It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!
Joey: Ohh, hey! Why dont you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Joey: And I got them a book on Karma Sutra for the elderly.
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Ross: (picking up a book) Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Phoebe: Okay. (Looks at the leaves.) Ooh, I see a ladder. (Checks the book) Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.
Phoebe: Oh! (Checking the book) Which can either mean youre having a baby or youre gonna make a scientific discovery!
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
(Monica points the remote at her TV, and punches out a key combination from the book, but the dreaded SAP logo remains and Spanish still comes forth.)
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Rachel: This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And...(opens it)...it's a book!
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
ROSS: The big book of childrens' names.
RACHEL: What was the book?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
RACHEL: Woah, woah, woah, what book is this?
PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Rachel has just finished reading the book.]
MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.
PHOEBE: Ok, I'm in the book.
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)
Monica: I am good. I finished my book.
Rachel: Do you want to put the book in the freezer?
Monica: Look Julio, someone left their book here.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Rachel: Funny book?
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
CHAN: Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
Chandler: Uh, the book?
Kathy: No, I... I didn't mean the pen. Thank you for the book.
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Jay Leno: (on TV) Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going?
The Salesman: He painted that. (Points to one of his paintings in the book)
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Joey: I am (Looks in his date book.) free!
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Monica: Rachel, get the book! The book!
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Rachel: (sitting down) So umm, what's this book about?
Rachel: So Pheebs, what is the book about?
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Phoebe: Yeah that's right you are so busted. (To no one in particular.) Book 'em.
[Cut to Ross's apartment, he's sitting by his window looking at an art book. As he's turning the page, he glances up and notices something.]
CHANDLER: Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]