words in movies
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
Rachel: This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And...(opens it)...it's a book!
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
RACHEL: What was the book?
ROSS: The big book of childrens' names.
RACHEL: Woah, woah, woah, what book is this?
PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Rachel has just finished reading the book.]
PHOEBE: Ok, I'm in the book.
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Monica: Look Julio, someone left their book here.
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.
Monica: I am good. I finished my book.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Rachel: Do you want to put the book in the freezer?
Rachel: Funny book?
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
The Salesman: He painted that. (Points to one of his paintings in the book)
Chandler: Uh, the book?
Kathy: No, I... I didn't mean the pen. Thank you for the book.
CHAN: Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Jay Leno: (on TV) Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going?
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?
Monica: Rachel, get the book! The book!
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Joey: I am (Looks in his date book.) free!
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Rachel: (sitting down) So umm, what's this book about?
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Rachel: So Pheebs, what is the book about?
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Phoebe: Yeah that's right you are so busted. (To no one in particular.) Book 'em.
CHANDLER: Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
[Cut to Ross's apartment, he's sitting by his window looking at an art book. As he's turning the page, he glances up and notices something.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Chandler: Oh you wouldnt uh, care. Its just a stupid comic book story.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Chandler: This is going in your book?
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
Elizabeth: Shut the book!
Monica: (picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?
Phoebe: (writing in her book) "You wish."
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Phoebe: I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Monica: Inside of telling us you decided to write in your stupid book!
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Ross: Oh my God, the wedding book?! I havent seen that since the forth grade!
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Rachel: (gasps) You found my book?!
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
Phoebe: Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Ross: Yes! Youre the person who checked out my book?!