words in movies
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
(They both slowly enter the bedroom and quickly walk back out.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no-
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
Both: Hey, buddy.
Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Chandler: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
Chandler: (still helium voice) Right behind you, big guy! (they both head for the door)
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Phoebe: Well, we both have.
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
(Enter Rachel and Paolo. They are both somewhat flustered)
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Rachel and Monica: Ohh! (both grab there stomachs in pain)
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Ross: No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
Luisa: You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge.
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Both: Marcel?
(Long pause as they both look at each other.)
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.
(They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.)
Barry: Both of you?
JOEY: So, you were both dorks. Big deal.
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
Phoebe: Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!! (they both kick up the foot rests like an old fashioned gun fight.)
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
(Both women gulp in air. Ross looks at his "football," then manipulates the head & limbs back into place, until it resembles what it represents.)
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
BOTH: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
RACH: Both of you?
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.
[they both stir thier coffee and proceed to stare into the mugs]
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
MNCA: You and me both.
[They both step out into the hall.]
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
BOTH: Oh, ohhhhh.
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
[they both pour in packets of cappucino mix]
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Ross: And it works both ways.
Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff?
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
(they both start up the stairs.)
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
(Both he and Ross start laughing)
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Rachel: Yeah, I do. (they both run out)
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)