words in movies
Joey: Ohh, hey! Why dont you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
(They both scream and jump away.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
(They both get out of bed and go get some cake.)
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Chandler: Well, youre gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, were switching it back! Theres nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe?
Monica: (Thinks a little more) Okay, Okay, (clapping her hands) All right. What if we got both houses? Huh? We can turn this house into a guest house.
Both: YAY! WHOO! YAY!
Monica: Here, let me help you. (they both start opening boxes)
Chandler: Well, it's just interesting. You know, because no one will ever know, because no one can experience both.
Chandler: I know. See, yes. Thats Yasmine Bleeth, shes a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.
Phoebe: Potato, Potaato. (Shes pronounces potato with the both the short and long As.)
(They both jump up and wipe off their butts.)
[Scene: Barbados, Monica and Chandler's Room. They both enter from Ross's room. Monica still has her big, frizzy hair.]
(They both sit down and Rachel pours them both some coffee. Theyre acting like nothings happened and everyone is just staring at them.)
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Paul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness.
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
Ross: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: The Porsche, cars are whizzing by and honking their horns on both sides very quickly as Ross creeps along.]
Chandler: It is the softest hair! Touch it! (Both he and Monica do so.)
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. (They both look at her.) Like for clubbing.
BOTH: Baywatch!! [both turn on TV's]
(They both rejoice; Chandler is totally confused.)
BOTH: [both extend the footrests] Aaahhhh. [both recline their chairs] AAAAHHHHHH.
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Ross: Look, look, theres got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I cant imagine, I cant imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Phoebe: Ooh, is that spelled with a C or a K? Oh my God! It doesnt matter; theyre both great!
Phoebe: Lets go! Come on! Move it! (Grabs her coat.) Come on! (To an old man whos holding her shoes and briefcase.) Shoes! Briefcase! (Takes them both.) Thanks Lou, good luck with the gall bladder. (She leaves.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Ross are both pouting and sitting on the couch.]
(Liam and Devon both take a swig of their beers, while Ross takes a swig of his coffee. The Brits both crush their cans, and not to be out done, Ross crushes his coffee cup, spilling its contents.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
(They both rush each other. Tank picks Pete up and carries him over and slams him into the fence surrounding the ring.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
(They both pull but Joey slips out and starts to fall backwards just as Chandler enters, scaring him.)
Rachel: Remember?! Wecome on both had the sarongs on, and we had the-the coconut bikini tops
[They both get up and head for the door. Clunkers whines a little]
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.)
(Both Rachel and Monica walk into their bedrooms, stop, and come back into the living room with confused looks on their faces.)
Phoebe: Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy.
Both: The dark of night has disappeared!!
Both: Hey! Hey, Bananaman!
Monica: You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesnt respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as were both up
Chandler: Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack.
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
(An 80's Rachel and fat Monica walk into the party room. Both with funny hair-do's and clothes)
Monica: This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldnt put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! (Points to both places.) I mean youd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. (The arch at the entrance to the room.)
(They both break into a huge laugh and do that stop motion thing they had at the end of ChiPs.)
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Monica: All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
ROSS and CHANDLER: [both enter looking down] Hhhiiii.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Chandler: Here we go. Stand up straight. (smiling) Big smile. (opens the door and both are smiling exaggeratedly)
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
CHANDLER: Well we could just stay in and cook for ourselves. [both laugh hysterically]
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]
Monica and Ross: (holding both of their hands above their heads making rabbit ears with their fingers.) Bunny!
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
All: All right!! (they lift it into place, however there is one small problem, the unit is so long that it blocks some of both of their bedroom doors.)
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
(They both start screaming at the top of their lungs.)
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
(They both growl and hiss at each other and then kiss passionately again.)
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.