words in movies
Part I Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Part II Written by: Greg Malins & Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time.
[Cut to Ross's apartment, he's sitting by his window looking at an art book. As he's turning the page, he glances up and notices something.]
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
EDDIE: Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Joey: Listen, sorry I didnt stop by last night but I had a date.
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Written by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Teleplay by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Story by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel.
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Teleplay by: Scott Siveri Story by: David J. Lagana Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Monica: That's right, she came back all by herself.
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Gary: Well okay, Ill swing by later. Do you live in this building?
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
Written by: Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help from: Aaron Howard-Miller
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We dont want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Written by: Zack Rosenblatt Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Written by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is getting shown to her desk by the supervisor.]
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Pete: Well don't forget that fiches over there by Rachel.
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Cecilia is entering the living room from Joeys room followed by Joey.]
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Chandler: If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Teleplay by: Zachary Rosenblatt Story by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessicas horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
Monica: Oh because it doesnt really fit. Oh by the way, I-I booked the Swing Kings.
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan and Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Scenes Taken From Episodes Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips, guineapig, Ruth Curran, Josh Hodge, and Me.
Ross: Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now.
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
Written by: Greg Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Joey: Oh no, Ill be done by then.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Yeah, but Im the only one related by blood.
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Written by: Mark Kunerth Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didnt break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
Ross: Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.