words in movies
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
Carol: Hey hey, come on in!
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Carol: Totally and completely healthy!
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Carol: Uh, that's our friend Tanya.
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.
Carol: Do you want to know?
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be...
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Carol: Well, thanks for the books.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Carol: Hello?
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Carol has come to pick up Ben.]
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Ross: I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.
Carol: Thanks.
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Carol: Sorry. You look good too.
Carol: So.
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Carol: A lesbian?
Carol: I'm pregnant.
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
Carol: Yes, and she's very supportive.
Carol: Marlon-
Carol: As in my grandmother.
Carol: Julia..
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Carol: No, I mean it's not Geller.
Carol: I know.
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
(Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.)
Carol: No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Ross: My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol.]
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?
Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.
Carol: Anytime you're ready.
Carol: Just aim for the bump.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Carol: No, no that was the first.
Carol: I did.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Carol: Oh, no no no. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.
Carol: That could be it.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Carol: Oh, I love you too. But...
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Carol: Not her.
Carol: Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funny
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
Ross: Hi. Sorry Im late. Wheres, wheres Carol?
Susan: Carol, not me.
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Carol: Life partner.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
Carol: This is impossible. Its just impossible.
Ross: Carol, honey, shhh, shhh, everythings gonna be alright.
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Carol: You're gonna kill me!
Carol: Thanks.
Carol: Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.
Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?
Carol: Count faster.
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
Carol: Now go!
Carol: Out!
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Carol: But they're not here yet!
(Carol and Susan arrive.)
Carol: Ok.
Carol: Ok.
Carol: Are they here yet?