words in movies
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Chandler: Heh.
Ross: What? (Ross and Chandler don't know what to say, so there's an embarrassing long pause)
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Chandler: Thank you.
Chandler: I know, I hate being left out of things.
Chandler: Fine. We're just sitting here. Alone. Doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow.
Chandler: What happened?
Chandler: (standing up too) M-Me-me-me!
Chandler: Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus.
Ross: (to Chandler) Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman.
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me!
Chandler: You are going downer!
Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they hug)
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Chandler: Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Chandler: (Getting up and raising his fist in victory) Y-Y-YEEESSS! Make "groom" for Chandler.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Chandler: How's it going?
Chandler: (smiling to himself too) That's what I was doing too.
Chandler: You too.
Chandler: Me too.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Chandler: I'm not supposed to tell you.
(Cut to Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Ross storm in looking very unhappy)
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both stare at Rachel)
Chandler: Rach, Rach, knock knock.
Chandler: I'll tell you at the wedding.
(Ross and Chandler look shocked)
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Chandler: So technically, would this person be in the wedding?
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Chandler: I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED.
Chandler: (quickly) I'll do it.
Chandler: (to Ross) Na ha ha... (to Chappy) Ne he he... (Ross moves Chappy to Chandler, who quickly backs away) Ah ah...
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Hi new dad. (Chandler waves)
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Monica walks outside)
(She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.)
Chandler: Ready?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold?
Chandler: You look beautiful.
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments. Chandler and Joey are walking up the stairs.]
Chandler: That really was an incredible wedding.
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.
Chandler: Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go.
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
Chandler: (entering) Hello!
Chandler: I didnt know that.
Chandler: (sarcastic) Noo.
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Chandler: Oh, that's Ross's.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry
Chandler: I'm over here big guy.
Chandler and Joey: Ohhh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
CHANDLER: We have to assign heads to something.
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Chandler: (laughing) You did look like an idiot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Chandler: If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard.
Chandler: Well, You could, but... probably just the one time.
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Chandler: Oh, its awkward. Its awkward. Its awkward.
Chandler: (shocked) Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, youyeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Chandler: Im not even Im not even
Joey: Yes! (to Chandler) Shame about you man.
Chandler: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Chandler: (entering) Hey guys, what are you doing?
Chandler: He just said, "No strippers."
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Chandler: Central Perk?
Chandler: Lets just say if I cant find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Joey enter having just woken up.]
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Chandler: (opening the door) What?
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Chandler: You slept with the stripper?
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Chandler: Way to be cool, man.
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
[Scene: Chandlers office, the guys are there waiting to ambush the stripper.]
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Chandler: He will, Joe.
Chandler: Hey, come on, its not your fault.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Chandler: You cant tell, but Im trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No, you should.
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Chandler: No. No. Were not gonna do that, yknow why? Because its not an even trade.
Chandler: What a baby.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Chandler: You got your passport?
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Chandler: There it is.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? I was wrong.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You cant offer anything to us!
Chandler: I am, Im ignoring you.
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Chandler: To Put the Camera Away!!!
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!