words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Chandler: Are you, are you high?
Chandler: Really? I dont like baths.
Chandler: Honey, its not the bath I enjoy, its the wet, naked lady.
Chandler: Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.
Chandler: Honey, its 2:00 on a Wednesday and Im watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
Chandler: Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk?
Chandler: Oh my God, whats up?!
Chandler: Oh no-no, no you dont, just come back.
Chandler: Do you?
Chandler: In London?
Chandler: Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
Chandler: If that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Monica comes from the bathroom as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Sex on the balcony?
Chandler: What is it?
Chandler: Honey, I dont like baths! Could you draw me a picture of us having sex on the balcony?
Chandler: Well, this does butch it up a bit.
Chandler: All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony?
(Chandler runs into the bathroom)
[Cut to Chandler laying in the bathtub. "Only Time," is playing in the background.]
Chandler: (thinking) All right, this isnt so bad. I like the flower smell! Which is okay, because Ive got my boat.
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Im going to need a bigger boat.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
Chandler: Im in the bathtub.
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
Chandler: The bath salts! Theyre starting to effervesce! Its different. (Pause) Its interesting.
Chandler: Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh!
Chandler: I had the exact same conversation.
Chandler: I dont know! Joey hasnt had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth!
Chandler: All right, lets break this down. What exactly did he say to you?
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Chandler: He didnt say anything about that to me.
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Chandler: But what did he mean by rules?
Chandler: Because he was looking at her differently.
Chandler: My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Chandler: You dont say anything.
Chandler: Im not going to let you say anything.
Chandler: Oh, God!
Phoebe: (Groans) Is it Chandler?
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
Monica: Not Chandler, just Joey.
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler enters as Monica comes from the bathroom.]
Chandler: Do I smell essential oils?
Chandler: Okay.
(As soon as Monica leaves the room, Chandler takes off his jacket and runs to the bathroom. Monica enters the bathroom to find Chandler in the bathtub.)
Chandler: L-leaving my troubles behind?
Chandler: Oh, its so hard to care when youre this relaxed.
Chandler: (upset) Hey!
Chandler: (To Monica) You told her?!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Because its a relaxing and enjoyable time!
Chandler: You like Rachel?!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
(They all hug and then turn and look at Chandler)
Chandler: Ill Ill get you later!
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas bathroom. Both are sitting on opposite ends of the bathtub.]
Chandler: Yeah. And what youre doing feels so good.
Chandler: Youre not?
Chandler: Oh, sweet Lord. New realms of pleasure!
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Chandler: You're gonna be great.
Chandler: That's what our friends call us.
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Chandler: Yeah, wow.
Monica: Uh, good hands. (she holds Chandler hands) Healing hands.
Chandler: No-ot for me it doesn’t.
Erica: (to Chandler) Being a doctor must take up a lot of time.
Chandler: You should be. You’re really on top of stuff..
Chandler: Yeah, I did.
(Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.)
Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Chandler: Your Veal Chop is $34,95!
Chandler: It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else.
Chandler: You have gotta stop!
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Chandler: I know..
Chandler: oh, honey..
Chandler: You're Jewish.
Chandler: So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us.
Chandler: But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this?
Monica: No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. (turns to Chandler) The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically...
Chandler: (to Monica) Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did!
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Hey.
(Chandler takes Monica's hand, and gets serious) Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk...(pause) We're not who you think we are.
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
Chandler: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor.
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Chandler: Erica wait!
(She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.)
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Chandler: You still want that baby?
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
(They look at each other. We switch back to Monica. Chandler opens the door and she turns to look at him.)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.
Chandler: (looking at her) Seriously, answer faster!
(Monica and Chandler do not look amused by Joeys head in the door)
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Chandler: (picking up the phone) Hello.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Chandler: Those are all really old!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
Chandler: I don’t know. What do you think?
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Chandler: I do too.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: We don’t. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing.
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
Ross: I just can’t see Chandler cheating!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
Joey: Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here?
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat)
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters)
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Chandler: Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Chandler: Actually, we already found a house we love.
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
Chandler: Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh?
Chandler: Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'!
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Chandler: Fancy.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
(Chandler prepares to play)
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Chandler: (entering) Hey.
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Chandler: Sure!
Chandler: And the fireplace in the bedroom.
Chandler: Here, here!
(Chandler listens to what Nancy says)
Chandler: I know.
(Chandler and Monica hug)
Chandler: Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer.