words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Chandler are on the couch.]
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Chandler: Oh! (Pulls his hand away.)
Chandler: I think thats the youngest girl ever to reject me.
Chandler: Oh hey!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, (To Chandler) and you?
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
Chandler: A tall guy with hair similar to mine, oh unknowable universe!
Chandler: Luckily, the guy she settled for cant hear what youre talking about.
Chandler: You believe that this guy is destined for someone else and youre still gonna date him?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Phoebe: Umm, Chandler, Monica, this is Don.
Don: Oh, hello. (Shakes Chandlers hand.) Hello. (Shakes Monicas hand.)
Phoebe: (mouths to Chandler) Soul mate.
Chandler: (mouths to Phoebe) What?
Chandler: Whats wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? (Everyone stares at him.) On a barbecue chicken pizza? (Still theres staring.) No?
(They go over to the counter and Chandler moves closer to Phoebe.)
Chandler: What are you doing?!
Chandler: I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife!
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Chandler are watching Monica and Don talk.]
Chandler: Cheese you say? Thats some pretty smelly work, huh Don?
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Monica: Me too! Yeah, Chandler cant stand it. He wont even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Don: And youre still married to him? (They both laugh, and Chandler tries to but fails.)
Chandler: Is it made of cheese?
Chandler: (disgusted) Oh come on! (To Phoebe) Are you listening to this?
Chandler: What do we do?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Sure, why dont you set it up. Ill just be over here, browsing through the personals.
Chandler: Yeah, fine. Fine. Not perfect!! But good enough.
Chandler: Im sorry, did you say cheese?
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Monica: Chandler, you dont believe in soul mates?
Chandler: No. But Im sure (mimics Don) tomatoes does.
Chandler: You dont?
Chandler: So you you dont want to live with Don in a cheese house?
Chandler: I love you.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
Chandler: Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldnt imagine growing old with
Chandler: Yes! Im fine. In fact Ive been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you.
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Chandler: Look, uh, just come later, we'll get everything squared away and you can come back later.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Chandler: Hi.
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
[Scene: A Jewelry Shop, Chandler and Phoebe are looking at engagement rings.]
Chandler: Yeah, Ill sit down. (He slides back into his chair.)
Chandler: Hey-hey, hey! (Gets up and hugs him.) I dont know why I did that!
Chandler: (goes to hug him and stops short) HeyyyyWhat?
Chandler: Yes. (Thinking hes gone.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: No, the doctors say it may kill her.
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Chandler: What?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Chandler: Richard!
Chandler: Oh you knew that. Good!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Chandler: For camp!
Chandler: Wh-How did you lose at Cups?!
Chandler: (To Monica) You are beautiful.
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Chandler: I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok.
Monica: Chandler, wh-why dont we sit down?
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Chandler: (after the door closes) What did you guys just do?!
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I going to do?
Chandler: Im gonna do it tomorrow yknow, and-and surprise her, but now youve ruined it!
Chandler: I can do that, Ive had 30 years of practice.
Chandler: Thats right, I can throw her off. I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Eh
Chandler: Yeah, well Yknow, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever want to get married huh?
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Rachel: Isnt it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin married.
Joey: Hey uh, have you guys scene Chandler?
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Chandler: If marriage worked, Id be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
[Scene: A Pizza Joint, Chandler and Monica are eating lunch.]
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Chandler: Well, never say never but yknow probably uh yeah, never.
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
Joey: Well, you know Chandler.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Joey: Chandler giving you a hard time huh?
Joey: Chandler loves marriage!!
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: MyOh my God!
Chandler: Youre right.
Chandler: Well what Yknow what Im gonna do? Im gonna go over there; Im gonna kick his ass! (Pause) Will you help me?!
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Okay great.
Monica: (entering) Chandler is such an idiot!
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Nine.
Chandler: (examining the coffee table) Scotch on the rocks, with a twist, on a coaster? Ha-ha, Monica! Monica!
Chandler: Well where did she go?
Chandler: Nothing happened? Nothing? So you didnt tell my girlfriend that you love her?
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
Richard: Chandler.
Chandler: Oh my God, I cant believe this! Yknow, I thought I thought you were a good guy.
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Chandler: Yknow what? I cant believe this! Do you know what you did? My girlfriend is out there thinking things over! You made my girlfriend think!!
Chandler: Yeah I even (pause) got a ring. (Puts in on the center cushion.) Did you get a ring?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Well why didnt you stop her?! Why didnt you just tell her it was a plan?!
Chandler: I cant talk to you now, I gotta find Monica!
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Chandler: Yknow Richard you are a good guy.
Chandler: Well where Where did she go?
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Chandler: I cant believe I ruined this.
Chandler: Oh my God.
Ross: Oh my God. (Hugs Chandler.) Congratulations.
Chandler: Hey.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Thanks.
Chandler: Monica and I are engaged.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Chandler: To Monica!
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Chandler: Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?