words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom. Chandler is sleeping and Eddie is there watching him.]
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: Hey Eddie. Daahh!! What're you doin' here?
CHANDLER: Why?
CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
CHANDLER: Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you.
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
CHANDLER: GET OUT NOW!!
CHANDLER: Yes please.
CHANDLER: I want you out.
CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?
[Eddie leaves the room and Chandler mouths "Thank you" to himself]
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
CHANDLER: Ahhhh-gaaaahhh. Eddie what're you still doin' here?
CHANDLER: Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything?
CHANDLER: Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now?
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
CHANDLER: Your last roommate's kidney?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
[Chandler wakes up]
CHANDLER: Daaahhhh!
CHANDLER: Why must everybody watch me sleep? There'll be no more watching me sleep, no more watching.
CHANDLER: Uuuh.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
CHANDLER: Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
CHANDLER: Uh-huh.
CHANDLER: This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue.
CHANDLER: You want some help.
CHANDLER: [enters] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
CHANDLER: Our next cocktail party?
CHANDLER: Eddie, do you remember yesterday?
CHANDLER: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
CHANDLER: So what happened?
CHANDLER: Oh sweet Moses.
[Scene: Hallway outside Chandler and Joey's apartment. Eddie walks up.]
[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]
CHANDLER: May I help you?
CHANDLER: Well, I'm, I'm sorry...[Eddie forces his head in the door] Ahhh. Have we met?
CHANDLER: I, I'm sorry, I uh [unchains the door and opens it all the way] I already have a roommate. [Joey turns around in the leather recliner]
CHANDLER: Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.
CHANDLER: Well I, I think we'd remember something like that.
CHANDLER: See ya. [shuts the door] Goodbuy you fruit drying psychopath. So you want me to help you unpack your stuff?
CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]
CHANDLER: Absolutely.
CHANDLER: Ah that's a cantelope.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
CHANDLER: So is he housetrained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, STAY! Good fake dog.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Chandler: No, no he went for a walk.
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
[The door opens and Chandler comes in. Rachel covers the door with a blanket]
Chandler: Please, please, please, don't be mad at me.
Chandler: Clunkers?! Oh my god!
Chandler: (to Clunkers) It is so good to see you!
Chandler: Oh, you should live with Joey, Roll-os everywhere.
Chandler: It's up to you.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Yeah. (Throws the pad on the table and heads for the bedroom)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay.
Chandler: Okay, let me just straighten out your helmet there. (Does so.)
Ben: (To Chandler) Thanks daddy.
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Chandler: Im sorry, who?
Chandler: Hey! What are you guys doing?
Chandler: But we dont know the neighbors.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Wouldnt it be easier if we just moved?
Chandler: Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay.
Chandler: Eh, somebodys in a good mood!
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Chandler: Weirder than watching his two moms make out? (Monica nods in agreement.)
Chandler: Well, either that or uh (Motions towards Joeys door.)
Chandler: Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! (He does a little mimic of her dance.)
Chandler: (about to cry) Am not!
Chandler: (laughs) 4:00 A.M.
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
Chandler: Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Joey: Almost cried huh? Hear that Chandler? Almost cried!
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
Chandler: Yknow what would work?
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Chandler: Stop making candy!
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Chandler: You mean they like you.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Chandler: Centerpieces!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Chandler: Joey!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, weve been fighting a lot more than we used too?
Chandler: All right, yknow what? Forget it, all of you forget it! Youve ruined it! Go home! Youve ruined it! Youve ruined it!
Monica: (To Chandler) Thank you.
Chandler: Youre welcome. (They kiss.)
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
Chandler: Pheebs?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Skull?
Chandler: betrothed couple.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Lovely!
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: How long have we been home?
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Chandler: No reason, except she told me.
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
Chandler: Ohh! You guys gonna be living together again?
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Monica: (pulling Chandler away from the Maitre d') You need to give him money.
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Chandler: Okay. (Walks back to Monica)
Chandler: Forty-five minutes? We have tickets to the Musicman at 8:00.
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
Chandler: (walks up to the Maitre d') Excuse me...
Chandler: How do you know so much about this?
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is serving Chandler and Monica coffee.]
Chandler: Hey Pheebs!
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: Santa? Really?