words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Chandler: Oh, tell her good luck with that.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Chandler: Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups?
Chandler: Oh thats so funny because we found someone too.
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Chandler: A face ass?
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Chandler: No, our guy is just a floating head.
Chandler: (horrified) Wait! You look? You-you massaged me.
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Chandler: Our guy smells incredible.
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Well, you dont look good Joe.
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Chandler: Is this a service youre providing me?
Chandler: Our new fridge? I dont live here anymore.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Chandler: Just tell her the truth! Tell her youre not ready.
Chandler: Then you distract her with a Barbie doll.
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Joey: All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?
Chandler: Uh-huh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Chandler: Yeah.
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.
Monica: Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandlers work!
Chandler: Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible!
Chandler: Are you funny?
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Chandler: Okay, so you will meet our guys?
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Chandler: (To Ross) Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say?
Chandler: You know the hotels?
Chandler: Well, maybe you dont marry this one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: Good-good-good-good.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, yknow what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? (Laughs) Eldad come here! (He stands up from the next table.)
Chandler: Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
All: (Chandler stops her) No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat!
Chandler: It is the softest hair! Touch it! (Both he and Monica do so.)
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
Eldad: Im a little embarrassed. (Chandler shushes him.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
Chandler: Yeah.
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Chandler: Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!!
Chandler: I am so, so, so, so sorry!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)
Chandler: So, are we going in there?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh my God, Im sorry, Im being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Chandler: I see.
Monica: Gunther, can I get a coffee (Looks at Chandler) to go?
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Chandler: You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred
Joey: No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!
Chandler: Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Thank you.
Chandler: Yeah so, Tuesday?
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
Chandler: But the Kit-Kats are all right?!
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Chandler: Hows your room Rach?
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Chandler: (on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is on the phone as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Hi.
Joey: Hey-hey listen (Chandler waves him away.)
Chandler: No, we only went out once.
Chandler: Not once!
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is having coffee with Dana.]
Chandler: The nerve huh?
Chandler: Refill?
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Chandler: No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
Chandler: (entering) Hey.
Chandler: Uh, Dana Keystone from college.
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Chandler: Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Chandler: No-noReally?!
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler is having dinner with Dana.]
(Chandler leaves dejectedly. When the door closes Rachel and Phoebe jump out from behind the curtains and scream )
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Chandler: But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: So?!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (initially worried, but gets over it) Really?
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
Chandler: (To Monica) All yours babe. (Walks away.)
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Chandler: Its a sock bunny.
Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)
Chandler: (panicked) ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Chandler: Oh, ok.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Chandler: Do you want me to call?
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
Chandler: Oh my God!