words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
Chandler: Whats the matter honey?
Chandler: (incredulous) Already?!
Chandler: Oh, I got some thoughts on that.
Rachel: Oh wait Chandler, too many cooks
Chandler: What in Gods name is that?!
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Ross: Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel and Monica are pretty much telling Chandler what the wedding plans are.]
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Chandler: Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Centerpieces!
Chandler: Definitely roses. (Monica and Rachel exchange a look.) Well, I just think theyre a little more weddingy. (Monica holds the Lily picture closer to him.) But Lilies are the clear choice.
Chandler: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
Mrs. Geller: So Chandler, youre parents mustve been thrilled when you told them you were engaged.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I should probably call them.
Chandler: Oh, I dont think I ever heard that story.
Chandler: What a sweet story.
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Monica: What about when I started dating Chandler?
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Chandler: Well, I have some.
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Chandler: Well, youre not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding?
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Phoebe: (reading the slip of paper) Wow! (In a sultry voice) Hello, Mr. Chandler.
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Chandler: Yes, I am!
Phoebe: Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Ehh.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Chandler: Sure you do.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: I love you so much.
Chandler: Oh yeah, totally!
(Chandler catches the ball and starts to run upfield.)
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: No way!
Chandler: Oh my God! Whos gonna watch that?!
Chandler: Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together. (Goes back inside and shuts the door)
Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
Chandler: Could be Casey.
Chandler: Yeah. (they start to leave)
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Chandler: You!
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: She?
Chandler: You dont think I get up when you get up?
Chandler: Excuse me?
Chandler: I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
Chandler: Ill take her back tomorrow.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Chandler: (rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
Monica: Okay, so it doesnt involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Chandler: Thanks, Im glad you see it that way.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
CHANDLER: Not exactly. . . I'm wearin panties.
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Chandler: Having a swim.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
Chandler: Noo! (takes him out) Oh, its okay, its okay, baby, baby, baby.
Chandler: I dont know. Should we try it?
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Chandler: Bye!
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Chandler: Oh! Worm medicine for the duck.
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Chandler: So thats the girl you like.
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Chandler: (entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
Chandler: Could I borrow it?
(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)
Chandler: Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home!
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Chandler: Yeah, and I dont have any cologne.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Chandler: Diet soda.
Chandler: Yes!
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Chandler: 7:15. (Monica looks at him) Watch doesnt work.
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Chandler: Ross, dont. Ross!
Chandler: Orange juice.
Chandler: Ohh, thats a good one.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
(We see Tommy go into Joey and Chandlers apartment)
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Chandler: Step away from the duck.
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Chandler and Joey: Whoa!!!
Chandler: No!!
Chandler: Okay, well, it's definite, two more weeks of winter.
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Chandler: Whoa-heeeiiiiii-iiiii-ah!! (sees it) Huh.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
CHANDLER: [enters] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Chandler: You're right, I know.
Ross: Chandlers gone again!
Chandler: (joining them) Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's?
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.