words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Quincy M.E. as Chandler is walking into the living room from his bedroom.]
Chandler: (sporting a goatee) Hey.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: No way!
Chandler: Oh my God! Whos gonna watch that?!
Chandler: Yeah. (they start to leave)
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
Monica: Wow! Youre a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was youre trip?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.]
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay. (He opens it and its a baby chick) Its a chicken.
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women? Nooo.
Chandler: Easy Lenny.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is baby-chick sitting.]
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: She?
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Chandler: Excuse me?
Chandler: I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick!
Chandler: You dont think I get up when you get up?
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
Chandler: I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, weve been fighting a lot more than we used too?
Chandler: Ill take her back tomorrow.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: (rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
Monica: Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?
Monica: Okay, so it doesnt involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Chandler: I know. See, yes. Thats Yasmine Bleeth, shes a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: I did! But the store wouldnt take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Chandler: Okay. And its not just chicks y'know? Its all kinds of other animals!
Chandler: Thanks, Im glad you see it that way.
Chandler: Ohhh-hoo, funny story!
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Chandler: (to the duck) Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! (He goes back into the apartment)
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys Bathroom: Chandler is watching the duck swim in the bathtub.]
Chandler: Having a swim.
Chandler: Chicks dont swim.
Chandler: I dont know. Should we try it?
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
Chandler: Noo! (takes him out) Oh, its okay, its okay, baby, baby, baby.
Chandler: You know, it haunts me? Up til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver!
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Chandler: I understand: who would cancel an actual date to go to a fake bachelor party?
Chandler: Hey Rach!
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: I have my reasons.
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
(A pause as they look at Chandler.)
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.]
Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?
Chandler: She answered.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.
Chandler: Hello? Hello?
Chandler: So how's Mindy?
Chandler: They do me?
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled). Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair)?
Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Chandler: What?!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Danielle: (entering) Chandler?
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.
Chandler: What are you doing here?
Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.
Chandler: ...I dunno.
Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!
Chandler: Okay.
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your monkey. (She starts to shut the door)
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
Chandler: Will power? I�ve watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
Chandler: Might wanna try Joseph.
Chandler: Joe...Joe...Joe...Stalin?
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me...
(Helens buzzer is heard on the intercom, so Chandler presses his button, too.)
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya.
Chandler: So what does this mean?
RACHEL: Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Chandler: Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation?
Chandler: Dont worry about it. Im taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
(Ross and Chandler laughs)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Work people? Nobody told me.
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: You think I should?
Chandler: Then, I don't get it.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
Chandler: They do?
Chandler: But I just wa...
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)
Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend.
(Chandler struts out from his apartment)
Chandler: (investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!
Chandler: Okay, hating this.
Chandler: Here we go, here we go.
Chandler: Yeah, like in a cab...
(Ross and Chandler look at each other and hug as well.)
Chandler: You have to pick your moments.