words in movies
Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
Monica: (to Chandler) See?
Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind".
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Chandler: (upset) She does?
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Chandler: Seriously, we're gonna do this?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: I didn't mean now...
David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.
Chandler: Well, you're welcome! Glad I could help.
Chandler: David, I'm pretending to read here!!
[Scene: Back in New York, Monica and Chandler in Central Perk on the couch]
Chandler: (smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do".
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe.
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
Chandler: Man, that's some bad advice!
(Rachel turns around and sees Chandler and Monica arriving)
(Monica and Chandler reach the group)
Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross!
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed!
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) And make sure our room isn't next to theirs (points to Phoebe).
Rachel: Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler.
David: So, ehm... I'm proposing to Pheobe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!
Chandler: That would be advice!!
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Ross: If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended)
Chandler: (offended) What? (pause) May I?
Chandler: (at the laptop) Oh, no, no, no dear God, no!
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Chandler: Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone!
Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive.
Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
Chandler: Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!!
Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Chandler: Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...!
Chandler: I just feel awful.
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out)
(Chandler walks in)
Chandler: (pretending not to sense the tone) Oooh! I hope you're happy too, honey!
Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
Chandler: (pointing at her) Oooooooh! Meddler! Meddler!
Chandler: This vacation sucks!!
[Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table]
Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
Mike: Hi David. Chandler. Monica... (Looks at Monica, checking her big hair, aghast) Oh!
Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.]
Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day.
Chandler: I'm so glad we've got adjoining rooms!
Chandler: Hey! Remember when I had corneas?
Chandler: Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes.
Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores.
(the paleontologist glares at Chandler)
Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really?
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play!
Chandler: I don't think so!
Chandler: Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying!
Chandler: Oh, yeah? What happened when we played last time?
Chandler: And...?
(Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look)
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Chandler: I'm not playing with you.
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
Chandler: (nearly whispering) Oh dear God, there's two of them!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Chandler: (interrupting her) OK!
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
Chandler: Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Chandler: (exhausted) Ok, look! Enough is enough!
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Chandler: But...
Chandler: What about the obsessive cleaning?
Chandler: You ok?
Chandler: No, you didn't.
Chandler: Because I'm gonna play for ya.
Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this.
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart.
(Chandler prepares to play)
Chandler: All right Mike, let's get this over with. Sudden death. Whoever wins this point, wins.
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
(Chandler scores and wins the match)
Chandler: And that's... how... it's done!
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Chandler: I don't know.
Chandler: That's why!
CHANDLER: [runs in] Hey, big guy, game time.
CHANDLER: No.
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
Chandler: No way!
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
(She hits Chandler.)
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
Chandler: Not yet.
Chandler: God?
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
Chandler: Hey, Rach, can I get...
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: Well, maybe it was God, doing me.
Chandler: Well, you owe me one, big guy.
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.
Chandler: (entering) Hi. Anybody know a good tailor?
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Joey: (to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: What stupid thing did you do?
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Chandler: People do stupid things when they're upset.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: At least as long as I have the pants.
CHANDLER: Ok, that's Eric.
Chandler: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Chandler: That's ok.
Chandler: Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: So, uh, how often can you do it?
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
Chandler: Hey, sweetums.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Chandler: What did you just do?
Chandler: What did you just do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Chandler: Hey! (Trots over)
(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)
CHANDLER: Ok, this could be tough.
Chandler: We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.'
CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it.
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: I broke up with her.
CHANDLER: Maureen Rosilla.
CHANDLER: You or me?
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
CHANDLER: Ok, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
CHANDLER: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Chandler: (sarcastic) Ooooh. (looks dumbfounded at Joey's stupidity)
CHANDLER: Wow, he looks so normal.
CHANDLER: Whoa!
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
CHANDLER: Funniest? Heckles?
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
JOEY: Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
CHANDLER: How do you know that? How?
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
CHANDLER: (on phone) Hi, it's me.
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I understand.
CHANDLER: Oh, my, god!
CHANDLER: Congratulations.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
CHANDLER: In a bad way?
CHANDLER: Neat. I'm gonna die alone.
MONICA: Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.
CHANDLER: Whoa! Don't know about that.
CHANDLER: I'll take that.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
CHANDLER: Takin' that with you, huh?
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
CHANDLER: You bitch.
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?