words in movies
CHANDLER: 'Cause he was just so darn cute.
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
CHANDLER: Hey, what did your agent say?
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
CHANDLER: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
(Chandler enters, sees Rachel in the dress and starts laughing)
CHANDLER: I may have.
CHANDLER: Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.
CHANDLER: I like this girl, okay, I seriously like this girl, you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...
CHANDLER: Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did.
CHANDLER: It's like this, me, no jokes.
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
CHANDLER: I'm sorry we, we don't have your sheep.
CHANDLER: Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim (sp?, I'm not an art guy) museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words.
CHANDLER: (shyly) It means we're holding hands.
CHANDLER: I'm afraid I might just be.
CHANDLER: Okay, it's not a guy, all right, I know her.
CHANDLER: How do you not fall down more?
CHANDLER: All right. (reading her answer) "My husband is sleeping with his secretary." She's married!
CHANDLER: I can't believe she's married.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
CHANDLER: What's wrong? What's wrong? You're married that's what's wrong.
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband.
CHANDLER: Okay, I'll do it!
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! (Chandler runs and picks up his shoes) Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. (Chandler runs to the bathroom, as the computer bing-bongs) No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. (Chandler runs to the computer) No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. (Chandler walks slowly into the kitchen)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
CHANDLER: Where is she, Where is she? (grabs Rachel) Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she?
RACHEL: Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here.
CHANDLER: (noticing a beautiful blond walking in) Ooh, oh, oh, that's her.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to...
CHANDLER: Oh my God! (it's Janice)
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Why are you wearing my apron?
Chandler: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Chandler: Oh, hey, when she gets here, is it ok if I introduce you two as "my wife" and "the woman who's carrying my child"? (she's not amused) No? Divorce?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.]
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
Chandler: I'm so sorry...
Monica: (entering with Erica and Chandler) Hey you guys.
Chandler: Why would you say that?
Chandler: Monica. Calm, self.
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
Chandler: Are you asking permission to break the pact?
Chandler: We are NOT signing those papers.
Chandler: The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Chandler: You are going downer!
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Chandler: That's great.
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Chandler: Oh, uhm, okay, uhm, do you mind if we ask you some questions about the father?
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Erica: Yeah... it's almost definitely him. (Monica and Chandler look confused now)
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: So, what does the other guy do? Does he go to college too?
Chandler: I'll bet his dad doesn't think so.
(Time lapse. Chandler and Monica are in bed now)
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
Chandler: I dunno, aren't there tests for these things, right?
Chandler: Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! (He turns the light on)
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
Chandler: Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father killer. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel-wielding arm!
Chandler: Hey! How was lunch?
Chandler: (struggling) Oh, really?
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Chandler: Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do?
Chandler: How do you know?
Chandler: Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it?
Chandler: O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test?
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
CHANDLER: Very informative!
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Chandler: Damn it.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Chandler: And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? (pause) What were the things you said?
Chandler: Oh-oh-hey!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: That's what we were gonna name the baby.
Chandler: Hey, how'd the interview go?
Chandler: That is a bad interview.
Chandler: ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Chandler: I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.
Chandler: To Ross!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
Chandler: What?
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
Chandler: Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.
Chandler: When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
Chandler: BE-LOW me!
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Chandler: Okay, but be careful okay, because I wanna get our security deposit back.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Rachel: Ew, was Chandler naked? Sort of like a, like a ring toss kind of situation?
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully dressed, right?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Really? What changed your mind?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's new house. Sitting near the window, they look at the neighborhood.]
Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it!
Chandler and Monica: No!
Chandler: Ha! I'm just messing with you.
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
Chandler: It's seven years ago. (he looks surprised) My time machine works!
Chandler: Excuse me?
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Chandler: That's great!
Chandler: How did the job stuff go?
Chandler: I said it first, bro.
Chandler: How did the job stuff go?
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
[Flashback scene from last week, Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there.]
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Chandler: I see.
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
Chandler: Well, it makes me feel sad, but...
Chandler: What do you think Pheebs?
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: You're kidding!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's reading a newspaper. Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Chandler: Oh yeah?