words in movies
Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Chandler: Y'think?
Chandler: Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue...
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Chandler: Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh...(He clears his throat noisily)...hi.
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Aurora: Chandler?
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey, kids.
Chandler: Well, I can't believe I've been here almost seven seconds and you haven't asked me how my date went.
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army...
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Chandler: Who's Rick?
Chandler: Oh, so you're divorced?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, then you're widowed?...Hopefully?
Chandler: So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
Chandler: Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan?
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Chandler: ...Hm.
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Chandler: Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
(Chandler enters with the phone.)
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Monica: Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Aurora and Chandler are in bed in Chandler's room.]
Chandler: God, I love these fingers...
Chandler: No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are.
Chandler: Oh no nonononononnononono, don't go.. (He kisses her and pulls her back down.)
Chandler: Don't go.
Chandler: (to himself) Too bad, she's leaving.
Chandler: Well, I thought- I thought you talked to Rick.
Chandler: What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you!
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
Chandler: Oh, so what you're saying is you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself?
Chandler: Well, y'know, most women would kill for three guys like us.
Chandler: You.
Chandler: Nono, just you.
Chandler: Lose the other guys.
Chandler: C'mon, we're great together, why not?
Chandler: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'
Chandler: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
Chandler: ...The second guy.
Chandler: Sorry, the first guy runs the lips.
(She leaves, Chandler sighs, and falls back on his bed.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Chandler: (to Ross) "Big guy?"
Chandler: Something so sweet and...disturbing about that.
(Ross and Chandler look at each other and hug as well.)
Chandler: You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Rachel: Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.
Chandler: Do I look fat?
Chandler: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.)
Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff?
Chandler: Thank you Rachel.
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Rachel: Good luck Chandler.
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Chandler: Okay, the old hug and roll.
Chandler: Okay, one question.
Chandler: Umm, not feeling better 'bout Malcom.
CHANDLER: (noticing a beautiful blond walking in) Ooh, oh, oh, that's her.
Chandler: She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
Chandler: That, that's what's stupid.
Chandler: You mean there's more than one of us.
Chandler: And that's how you bought it?
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
CHANDLER: Why her mom?
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
Chandler: Sure. What's up?
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
CHANDLER: Ya know, the man's got a point. [gestures with his arm and the bracelet falls off]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Chandler: You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!
Chandler: Hey, man. What's up?
Chandler: Well, it's official there are no good movies.
Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
CHANDLER: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put.
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Chandler: (entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
Chandler: Noo.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Do we have any...(turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: I'm not yanking you.
Chandler: It doesn't scare me!
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Chandler: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.
Chandler: Oh God.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Chandler: She said she'd call me.
Chandler: That's easy, baggage claim.
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Chandler: Okay, okay. So, should I call her?
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Chandler: So I'm not, not gonna lose her?
Chandler: I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Chandler: Jeez, what a baby.
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Chandler: (normal voice) No. Not anymore.
Chandler: (shyly) Chelsea.
Chandler: (in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?
Chandler: A woman's
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
Chandler: Yes indeedy! (they look outside) With a beautiful view of...
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
CHANDLER: Well, actually just one birthday flan.
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Chandler: Hello!
Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?
Chandler: Here in Chelsea.
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: So, you don't think I'm terminal?
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Chandler: Youre building a post office?
Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.
CHANDLER: No actually, I was just going for colorful.
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]
Phoebe: Chandler.
Chandler: Hi.