words in movies
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Chandler: Oh, great. This is just...
(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.)
Chandler: Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre.
Chandler: She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (pause) Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!
Chandler: Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.
Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
(Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.)
Chandler: There you go!
Chandler: You're definitely scaring here.
Chandler: Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. (takes phone)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler.]
Chandler: Hey, it's me.
Monica: (to everyone) It's Chandler! (on phone) Are you OK?
Chandler: Yeah, I'm fine. (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.
Chandler: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr!
Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone.
Chandler: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth JLL GDCR.
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Chandler: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.
Chandler: Um, is it sugarless?
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Chandler: (chewing gum) Ah, let's see. What next? Blow a bubble. A bubble's good. It's got a... boyish charm, it's impish. Here we go.
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Chandler: Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... (grimacing) ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.
(Chandler starts to choke.)
(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)
Chandler: (gasping) Yes... thank you. That was... that was....
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.
Chandler: OK.
(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
(She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.)
Chandler: Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: Im coming already!!
(Rachel and Chandler slide into position.)
Chandler: Nice shooting!
Chandler: Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Chandler: OH MY GOD!!!
Chandler: Are you all right?!
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: SoYou got in voluntarily?!
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, You dont have insurance here, so stop calling us.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.
Chandler: Oh-no, hes right.
Chandler: Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!
Chandler: Could we be more white trash?
Chandler: Ive got canned goods.
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandlers not here, he always wins at this game.
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Chandler: Well, not at first.
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Chandler: I found a dried up seashores.
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: Oh yeah, I totally agree.
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Chandler: Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Chandler: Althea?! What are you doing?!
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to button up his shirt)
Chandler: Thanks.
Chandler: It just doesnt feel like were breaking up.
Chandler: Im getting dressed.
Chandler: Here we go. Okay, brace yourselves.
Chandler: What is it?
Chandler: When I walk outside naked people throw garbage at me.
Chandler: You are, youre gonna leave me like this?
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Chandler: How little?!
Chandler: Why not?!
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Look, this isnt funny! You get back here right now!
Chandler: Hi! (to Sophie) How are you?
(Chandler gets an idea)
(Rachel goes into talk to Chandler.)
Rachel: Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Chandler: I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!
Chandler: Fine!
Chandler: Never!
Chandler: It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.
Chandler: Inever borrowed your Walkman.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Chandler: About what?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.]
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, I dont think so!
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Chandler: Well, this is much better.
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Chandler: Freedom!
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
PHOEBE: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Chandler: No!
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Chandler: With extra pulp?
Chandler: No!
Chandler: You dont have it.
Chandler: (intrigued) Go on.
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
Rachel: Ohh, not compared to you. (Chandler nods in agreement)
Gerston: Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? (They discover that Chandler is listening) Hey, Chandler.
Chandler: (hello) Hello.
Chandler: (checks his watch) Two hours, that lasted!
Chandler: I think so.
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Chandler, are there.]
Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Im, Im paddling away!
Chandler: Airplane! Airport! Airport '75! Airport '77! Airport '79!
Chandler: Yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesnt say cool anymore.
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?