words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch.Monica and Chandler enter]
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: We're just here to say goodbye, we're off to Ohio.
Chandler: And so incorrect!
Chandler: Uhm, thank you, but we're really trying not to get our hopes up.
Chandler: Yeah. I mean, this girl could decide against adoption or she could like another couple better..
Chandler: I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word.
Chandler: So we're standing firm on the 'not getting our hopes up'?
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Chandler: Yes, but...
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Chandler: Oh, screw it, I'm gonna be a daddy!!
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering with a man.]
Chandler: Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"
Chandler: You're gonna be great.
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
Chandler: Ok.
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D.
Chandler: That's what our friends call us.
Chandler: (astonished) I don't think that's exactly...
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are still talking with Erica.]
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Monica: Uh, good hands. (she holds Chandler hands) Healing hands.
Chandler: Yeah, wow.
Erica: (to Chandler) Being a doctor must take up a lot of time.
Chandler: No-ot for me it doesn’t.
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Chandler: You should be. You’re really on top of stuff..
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
Chandler: Yeah, I did.
Chandler: We are NOT signing those papers.
Chandler: It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else.
Chandler: You have gotta stop!
Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Chandler: Your Veal Chop is $34,95!
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Chandler: But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this?
Chandler: I know..
Chandler: oh, honey..
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
Chandler: So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us.
Chandler: You're Jewish.
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Hey.
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
(Chandler takes Monica's hand, and gets serious) Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk...(pause) We're not who you think we are.
Chandler: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor.
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
(She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.)
Chandler: Erica wait!
Chandler: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
Chandler: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising.
Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. (walks away again, but Chandler catches up with her again)
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
(They look at each other. We switch back to Monica. Chandler opens the door and she turns to look at him.)
Chandler: You still want that baby?
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Chandler: Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.
Chandler: Yeah, all right.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: (enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome!
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Actually, me too.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Chandler: Stupid, useless Canadian money!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
Chandler and Joey: YEAH!!! YES!!!
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! How did you meet her?
CHANDLER: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. (to Ross) I love her.
CHANDLER: We came over as soon as we saw.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
CHANDLER: Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?
Chandler: Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile.
Chandler: (he glares at him for a while) Yes.
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Chandler: Oh, yknow what, that might be okay even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel.
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Chandler: (entering) Hello, children!
Chandler: (to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Rachel: Chandler!
Chandler: Wherever! Ive got like 20!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Chandler: Yknow what, Im gonna uh, play the field just a little more.
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
Chandler: Oh yeah! With who?
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Hey, man!
Chandler: Well, like father, like son.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is there.]
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
Chandler: Ummmmmmmm, no.
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Chandler: Why not?! Id be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to getoh I see.
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
Chandler: Im not Jewish, so
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh, yknow, yknow what Pheebs?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)
Chandler: I did! I absolutely did!
Credits [Scene: Central Perk. Russ enters. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Oh, man. Im sorry, Im so-so sorry.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer?
Chandler: I know! I know!
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Chandler: Im sure youre right, but why?
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey's grandmother are still watching Law & Order.]
Chandler: Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company?
Chandler: Prague?
Chandler: Well, you-you know what I meant.
Chandler: Yeah, but I bet it works.
Chandler, Monica, and Rachel: Great!! Thats great!
Chandler: So what job did you get Joe?
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Chandler: Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? (Sits up) Who said that?
Chandler: Yeah, you-you gotta love the talking.
Chandler: Yes. Right where?
Chandler: No, hes right, Im totally lying.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Ross: Just go for it Chandler.