words in movies
Chandler: (looking at her) Seriously, answer faster!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Chandler: (picking up the phone) Hello.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Chandler: Those are all really old!
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that!
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Chandler: And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? (pause) What were the things you said?
Chandler: And the fireplace in the bedroom.
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Chandler: I don’t know. What do you think?
Chandler: I do too.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Chandler: We don’t. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing.
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
Ross: I just can’t see Chandler cheating!
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica!
Joey: Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here?
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters)
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Chandler: Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
Chandler: ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Chandler: Actually, we already found a house we love.
Chandler: Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh?
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Chandler: Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'!
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Chandler: Fancy.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey.
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Chandler: No problem roomie. (She turns around and hugs him.)
Chandler: Sure!
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Chandler: Here, here!
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
(The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it)
Chandler: Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer.
(Chandler listens to what Nancy says)
Chandler: (to Nancy) Okay, thanks... (to Monica) They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price.
Chandler: I know.
(Chandler and Monica hug)
Chandler: That's okay, we understand.
(Chandler gives Joey her business card, which he eagerly grabs and he leaves.)
Chandler: Yeah... Well, it's a good thing we got it then.
Chandler: We got the house.
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Chandler: We're getting the house. (they hug) We're getting the house.
Chandler: We're growing up.
Chandler: So who's gonna tell them?
Chandler: Not it! Damn it!
[Scene: Central Perk. The entire gang is there, and Chandler and Monica are handing out presents.]
Chandler: You'll see.
Chandler: Well, I didn't know how to tell you before, but... We got the house.
Chandler: Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Chandler: Oh my God, introduce us!
Chandler: Because he was looking at her differently.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: I have a job interview I have to get ready for.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Chandler: (gloatingly and holding his piece) Ohhh!
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, dont ya?
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Chandler: So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Phoebe: Hey Chandler, why so fancy?
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: What about it?
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Chandler: (shocked) What?!
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Chandler: Are you serious?!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Chandler: Youd think that would embarrass me, but you see Im maxed out.
Chandler: Phoebe!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are entering.]
Chandler: An hour.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Chandler: Oh! (Stands up.)
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
[Scene: An Office Building, Chandler is on his interview.]
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: (really try not to laugh) Good to know.
Chandler: (relieved) Really?!
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Chandler: What?
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, yeah!
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Chandler: Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch!
Chandler: The whole thing! Can we go?
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
Chandler: I dont know, five hundred dollars?
Chandler: Yes, money well spent!
Chandler: Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes
Chandler: Hey Gar!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: Man, if only youd gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.)
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Chandler: Okay. Ive been thinking about it too, and I, I think were ready.