words in movies
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Chandler: Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately.
Chandler: Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image?
Chandler: Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight?
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is telling Chandler about Kate.]
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Chandler: (in a deep voice) If I broke up with you, Id miss you.
Chandler: And youre our age. Youre our age.
Chandler: Thats not a state Joe.
Chandler: Youre our age!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You cant just stare through the peep hole for three hours! Youre gonna get peep eye!
Chandler: You didnt just break up.
Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean bullets have left guns slower!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
Chandler: Stop what?!
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Chandler: No!! You cant!!
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
Chandler: Look man!
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Rosss head)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know?
Chandler: Im talking about you. You big, big freak.
Chandler: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard youd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Chandler: Cause its-its not his last name.
Chandler: No, its not like, like Phil Spiderman. Hes a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but theres no Gold Man.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
Chandler: So, ahh, what kind of powers would Gold Man have?
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
Chandler: Okay, lets play my game now.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Chandler: I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm".
CHANDLER: Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now?
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Chandler: Okay. 1 2 3Go! (Once again hes at a stalemate, but this time hes in pain.) (Pause) Im gonna kill myself!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Chandler: And then Tineals.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Chandler: You got it. (Starts looking at the pad, while Ross got the turkey out of the fridge and starts to unwrap and it) You got Nevada twice.
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Are you serious?! Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago and you want more?
Chandler: That's right.
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
Chandler: Cookie?
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
CHANDLER: I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Chandler: Oh, uh, when-when are you coming back?
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Chandler: No, our guy is just a floating head.
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
Chandler: What?
(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)
Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Chandler: (with phone to ear, obviously hearing no dial tone) Paid your phone bill?
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Chandler: I have no idea.
Chandler: It's a beautiful thing.
Chandler: Oh, God.
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: All finished!
Chandler: Man, we're gonna rock that Asian student union!
Chandler: (thinks) That's the perfect amount!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Chandler: Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats.
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
Chandler: That is amazing.
Chandler: ...Take off their hats!
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...
Chandler: (To Monica) Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I?
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Chandler: Oh, how well you know me...
Chandler: Yes, please don't spoil all this fun.
Chandler: HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts!
Chandler: 'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.'
Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Chandler: Kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. (Rachel sits down to hear Chandler's dream.)
Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
Chandler: Were you so late because you were burring this woman?
Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Chandler: Boys? We're going in.
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: What does she do?
(He goes up on stage, mimes like he's giving the speech, and Chandler takes his picture. However, before he gets down everyone starts clinking their glasses for a real speech.)
Monica: Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this.
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Chandler: Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"
Chandler: Hey, that was really good!
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]
Chandler: Not so much!
Chandler: "Smoke away."
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"
Chandler: Relax your hand!
Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.
Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.
Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.