words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Wouldnt that be Frank the III?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Hey! Do we have a baby name yet?
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: And now youre giving me the message!
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Hi! Hi! Youre crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
Chandler: Raymond Chandler.
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Chandler: Wow, youre, youre right. I have a horrible, horrible name.
Chandler: Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Chandler: No, no, youre right, it is a ridiculous name!
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: I have no name.
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Chandler: Its Clint. Its Clint! (He heads for his bedroom.)
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: (pleased) Really?!
Chandler: Okay. Thanks.
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Chandler: Yay!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Bye, Pheebs!
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Chandler: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Chandler: What about him?
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
Chandler: Dying people say the craziest things.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there.]
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Did you not understand the story?
Chandler: Oh yeah?
Chandler: Hey! Whats up?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
Chandler: No! (The oven dings.) Shhh!
Ross: (To Chandler) You told her!
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Ross: (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
Chandler: Du-ude!
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar
Chandler: Huh.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
Chandler: Ross came in forth and cried!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Chandler: Hey!!!
Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Chandler: That was you!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Whoa, she's pretty. (Mentioning the girl on TV)
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Chandler: I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are watching TV as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
Chandler: Yeah that was stupid. Lets not do that.
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Chandler: Yknow when I said that because were getting married that we should share everything and not have any secrets?
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!!
Joey: (entering) Hey Chandler!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Chandler: Yeah, Im not in that.
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
Chandler: Could I play?
Chandler: Dude that is so sad.
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Chandler: Okay. (Does The Face.)
Chandler: No, I am.
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Chandler: Aww! (Smiles.)
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
Chandler: How about those three pointers?
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
CHANDLER: [Joey grabs a frying pan] Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Chandler: Really? Right across the street?
Chandler: Because, Im too afraid.
Chandler: And those guys were this (Doing the standard "This Close" gesture) close to lettin us play this time too.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
Chandler: Whend you meet her?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
Chandler: I cant help it!
Chandler: Excellent! Yknow Ross met somebody too!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Chandler: Borrow money from me?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Chandler: (Pause) Im right here!
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Chandler: Im still right here!
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
Chandler: Hi! Howd it go?
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: There I am!