words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Chandler: Hey man, what's up?
Chandler: Yeah, yeah! Me too!
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Well, I like danger.
Chandler: Tonight? You-you didn't say it was going to be at nighttime.
[Scene: Gary's cop car, Ross is in the front seat with Gary of course. Chandler is in the back seat.]
Chandler: It is starting to get dark out there.
Chandler: (laughing) Okay. (Deadpan) But it is officially nighttime.
Ross: It's theChandler!!
(Chandler starts laughing at his joke.)
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
Chandler: Your tax dollars?
Chandler: (leans in and takes a sniff of Joey's sandwich) Wow! That sandwich really does smell good.
Chandler: I can't smell your sandwich?
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we?
Chandler: How do you figure that?
Chandler: Y'know, when you say partner it doesn't sound cop. It, it sounds gay.
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Chandler: Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
Chandler: Okay, y'know, we-we're safe right? I mean nothing bad can go down!
Chandler: (deadpan) Oh, hurry up. I want to sign that.
Chandler: What's going on?
(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is obviously hurt.)
Chandler: Uh, HELLO!!
Chandler: (pouting) It was a car backfire!
Chandler: Who jumps at loud noises!
Chandler: Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up and starts for the door.)
Chandler: (returning) Oh my God! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Oh, I just went for a walk, around the living room. Whatever
Chandler: No. No I'm just tired. Y'know, from-from the walk.
Chandler: You dove in front of Ross! Ross!
Chandler: I do not hate Ross!
Chandler: What picture?
Chandler: Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Chandler: From a bullet!
Chandler: Much sense?!
Joey: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
Chandler: So you risked your life, for a sandwich!
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Chandler: So you didn't uh, choose Ross before me.
Chandler: Really?!
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Chandler: Thanks. (He grabs the sandwich.)
(Chandler takes a bite.)
Chandler: (with his mouthful) Oh-oi-ho, yeah!
Chandler: Hm-hmm. (Goes to take another bite.)
Chandler: I thought you were showing me how much you mean to me.
Chandler: Before or after you were shot by your own troops?
Chandler: Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Chandler: What?
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, yeah!
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Chandler: Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch!
Chandler: The whole thing! Can we go?
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
Chandler: I dont know, five hundred dollars?
Chandler: Yes, money well spent!
Chandler: Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes
Chandler: Hey Gar!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: Man, if only youd gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.)
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Chandler: Okay. Ive been thinking about it too, and I, I think were ready.
Chandler: But you said you were ready too.
Chandler: Yes, but havent you wanted a kid like forever?
Chandler: Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups?
Chandler: Look, weve always talked about having babies someday. Im not saying it has to be right now, but Im starting to think that we can handle it. Were good. Were really good.
Chandler: Im not crazy about babies. Im crazy about us.
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
Chandler: But nothing has to happen until your ready.
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Chandler: Period math?
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Right here?
Chandler: Were trying to get pregnant. (They start kissing, but Chandler stops it.) Yknow Im not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is seated, and the apartment is filled with baskets of fruit. Joey enters, check in hand.]
Chandler: I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word.
Chandler: Okay. (They start kissing.)
[Scene: An Empty Hospital Room, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Yes, 98.6. Youre gonna be fine.
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Chandler: Well let me think about that, while I remove my pants!
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Chandler: I think it's winning.
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Chandler: Hi.
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Chandler: Thats funny. Does it-does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?
Chandler: What?!
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Chandler: No, that was Dana Caplin.
Chandler: (sees another rack) Well, whats the deal with these? These-these look nice.
Chandler: So, do you know what youre gonna call her yet?
Chandler: So then I guess Ferdinad is out.
Chandler: You do?
Chandler: Oh no, its gonna be named after some snack or baked good isnt it?
Chandler: And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.
Chandler: That was amazing.
[Scene: The Portrait Studio, Monica is waiting for Chandler to make another attempt at taking a good picture.]
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
Chandler: He pulled a quarter out of my ear!
Chandler: Okay. Wow.
Chandler: That was you?! I thought it was Jack!