words in movies
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Chandler: Yeah!
Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Chandler: Well, yeah actually.
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
Chandler: Help!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Chandler: Hi, Pheebs!
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Chandler: What is going on here?
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Chandler: OhI don't know.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Chandler: Ross?
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Chandler: And you're okay with that?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Chandler: All right, look! Look. I think I can explain this.
Chandler: Joey's a sex addict.
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Chandler: Well let's .let's see what everybody thinks of that?
Chandler: Are you sure Joe? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?
Chandler: Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Chandler: Oh my God, introduce us!
Chandler: Because he was looking at her differently.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: I have a job interview I have to get ready for.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Chandler: (gloatingly and holding his piece) Ohhh!
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, dont ya?
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Chandler: So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Phoebe: Hey Chandler, why so fancy?
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: What about it?
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Chandler: (shocked) What?!
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Chandler: Are you serious?!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Chandler: Youd think that would embarrass me, but you see Im maxed out.
Chandler: Phoebe!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are entering.]
Chandler: An hour.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Chandler: Oh! (Stands up.)
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
[Scene: An Office Building, Chandler is on his interview.]
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: (really try not to laugh) Good to know.
Chandler: (relieved) Really?!
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Chandler: What?
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, yeah!
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Chandler: Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch!
Chandler: The whole thing! Can we go?
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
Chandler: I dont know, five hundred dollars?
Chandler: Yes, money well spent!
Chandler: Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes
Chandler: Hey Gar!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler: Man, if only youd gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.)
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Chandler: Okay. Ive been thinking about it too, and I, I think were ready.