words in movies
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
Monica: Chandler, relax its not a contest. (To Rachel) Certainly not a close one.
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Chandler: Yknow I think we should invite them.
Chandler: Well this is just sad!
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is showing Chandler the selection of tuxedos.]
Chandler: Well, thanks a lot for hookin me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.
Chandler: (sees another rack) Well, whats the deal with these? These-these look nice.
Chandler: You mean like for award shows?
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Chandler: Okay, who wore those? (Points to the tuxedos.)
Chandler: Not bad.
Chandler: Whos that?
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Chandler: Pierce Brosnan?
Chandler: Are you serious?
Chandler: 007?! This is James Bonds tux?!
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch reading as Ross enters carrying a garment bag.]
Chandler: A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head?
Chandler: What?
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
Chandler: SoIf you wear that youll make mine less special.
(Chandler mimics him.)
Chandler: Please, dont take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?!
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Chandler: That was pretty 007.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
Chandler: Ross is Batman!
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Chandler: Batman has a utility belt!
Chandler: Batman has the Batmobile!
Chandler: Batman has Robin! (Pause) We get ESPN right?
Chandler: Actually, I dont like martinis.
Chandler: Ooh, yum! (Runs into the bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Chandler: Well, does that mean that youre not going to wearing yours?
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
Chandler: The only superpower you have is a slightly heightened sense of smell. (Hands him the jacket and walks away.)
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is hooking Chandler up with another tuxedo.]
Chandler: (yelling from the changing room) All right! I found one that fits!
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Chandler: What about him?
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
Chandler: Dying people say the craziest things.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there.]
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Did you not understand the story?
Chandler: Oh yeah?
Chandler: Hey! Whats up?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Huh.
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
Chandler: No! (The oven dings.) Shhh!
Ross: (To Chandler) You told her!
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Ross: (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
Chandler: Du-ude!
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar
Chandler: Huh.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
Chandler: Ross came in forth and cried!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Chandler: Hey!!!
Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Chandler: That was you!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Whoa, she's pretty. (Mentioning the girl on TV)
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Chandler: I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are watching TV as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
Chandler: Yeah that was stupid. Lets not do that.
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Chandler: Yknow when I said that because were getting married that we should share everything and not have any secrets?
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!!
Joey: (entering) Hey Chandler!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Chandler: Yeah, Im not in that.
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
Chandler: Could I play?
Chandler: Dude that is so sad.
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Chandler: Okay. (Does The Face.)
Chandler: No, I am.
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Chandler: Aww! (Smiles.)
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
Chandler: How about those three pointers?
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
CHANDLER: [Joey grabs a frying pan] Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Chandler: Really? Right across the street?
Chandler: Because, Im too afraid.
Chandler: And those guys were this (Doing the standard "This Close" gesture) close to lettin us play this time too.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
Chandler: Whend you meet her?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
Chandler: I cant help it!
Chandler: Excellent! Yknow Ross met somebody too!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Chandler: Borrow money from me?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Chandler: (Pause) Im right here!
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Chandler: Im still right here!
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
Chandler: Hi! Howd it go?
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: There I am!